


Let's Fall in Love (Again)

by glitterbee



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: F/F, Lesbian AU, bitter exes have to go to a wedding together, eventual smut maybe?? havent decided yet, gigi and crystal have broken up, they r both so stupid and gay, will they get back together only time will tell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 01:15:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 21,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25904935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glitterbee/pseuds/glitterbee
Summary: Crystal has never been a person known for her brilliant ideas, however going to her ex-girlfriend's cousin's wedding with said ex as her date is probably her worst one yet. Especially when that ex is Gigi Goode.It doesn't help that Crystal is still in love with her.And the fact that Gigi wants nothing to do with her.The next four days are going to be tough.
Relationships: Gigi Goode/Crystal Methyd, Nicky Doll/Jaida Essence Hall
Comments: 103
Kudos: 140





	1. Arriving

"This is a stupid idea."

Crystal shot her friend Daegen an exasperated look, "Listen I don't want another lecture about this."

"Well, maybe you should try doing something less stupid then?" Daegen shot back, "You are the master of bad decisions Crystal, but going to your ex-girlfriend's cousin's wedding is probably your worst one  _ yet _ ."

Crystal rolled her eyes as she threw her clothes haphazardly into her suitcase, if they got wrinkled that was future Crystal's problem, "We said we would go before we broke up! I'm just being polite!" 

Daegen grinned from her spot on Crystal's couch, her eyes locked down on the magazine she was skimming through, "Oh really? So this has nothing to do with Gigi?" 

"Of course not!" The blonde scowled and crossed her arms in a failed attempt to look intimidating. It had no effect on her best friend who was still nose deep in her magazine. 

"Oh really?" Daegen questioned, looking up at her friend, "Then why did you pack your 'sexy' underwear?"

Crystal's eyes drifted down and her face flushed noticing the incriminating articles of clothing. She quickly began throwing more clothes into the suitcase in order to hide the lingerie, "T-that is nothing! Nothing to do with her!"

“That’s bullshit and you know it.” 

Crystal pouted, “You act like I’m obsessed with Gigi, maybe I’m preparing in case there are any hot relatives at the reception. You’ve seen Nicky and Jaida, there’s no way they don’t have any hot, single cousins.”

“You mean like Gigi?” Daegen smirked. 

“Shut up!” Crystal grabbed a discarded shirt on the ground and threw it at her friend, hitting her directly in the face, “That’s not what I meant and you know it!”

Daegen threw her magazine at Crystal in retaliation and scoffed, “Listen, you may have convinced yourself that you are over her, but I know the truth. Don’t even try and tell me that you don’t still think about her when I know for a fact you still sleep in one of her shirts.”

“It’s comfy!” Crystal tried to protest.

“Sure,” The pink-haired girl rolled her eyes, “Then why haven’t you washed it once in the year you’ve been broken up?”

“Actually it’s been eleven months and-”

“And nineteen days. I know,” Daegen interrupted, “You tell me almost every single day. You’re avoiding the question.”

The blonde sighed in defeat, collapsing onto the couch next to Daegen, “...It still smells like her.”

Crystal twisted the hem of her shirt over her thighs and bit her bottom lip. Daegen was right, Crystal was still head over heels for Gigi. Their disastrous breakup had left her broken for months. Daegen actually had to move into the apartment she used to share with Gigi because Crystal was barely taking care of herself. Her friend managed to get her to start going out again and made sure she actually ate, but that didn’t change the fact that Crystal was still heartbroken. She knew realistically that she should have moved on by now but she missed her ex-girlfriend. She still loved her.

She just also hated her at the same time. 

Daegen wrapped an arm around Crystal, pulling her closer and rubbing her shoulder. Her friend was never one for physical displays of affection but over the past year, she had been making an effort to do it more, knowing that Crystal always found comfort in hugs. Her voice was sweet and unpatronizing, “It’s okay to miss her you know? But do you really think that this wedding is a good idea? What if it just resurfaces all the bad feelings from before?”

Crystal sighed, “I don’t know...I honestly don’t know...I think I just need closure…”

The pink-haired girl stood up suddenly and put her hands on her hips with a smirk, “Your flight isn’t till tomorrow, right? How about instead of getting sad and depressed, we get drunk and watch compilations of people falling over?”

Crystal smiled, “That sounds perfect.”

-

Crystal didn’t like flights on the best of days, especially when said flight was almost twelve hours long. She couldn’t understand why Nicky and Jaida couldn’t just get married in California,  _ no,  _ they had to go the extra mile and have their wedding in Paris. Normally Crystal would just pop a sleeping pill for long flights but she had accidentally packed them in the wrong bag, and the screaming child behind her made it impossible to sleep without them. 

It was safe to say that when Crystal finally landed in Paris Charles de Gaulle Airport, she was a wreck. She was tired, nervous, and to be honest, really hungry. She managed to get herself an overpriced sandwich from a store in the airport after struggling for ten minutes trying to understand euros. 

Crystal knew she looked awful. She was wearing an oversized hoodie and a pair of leggings, not wanting to dress up too much so she could relax on the long flight. Her bleach blonde hair was frazzled, sticking up everywhere, and she had bags under her eyes. Crystal knew she should have been excited to be in Paris for the first time in her life, but all she wanted to do was clock into the hotel and sleep for ten hours.

There was a slight delay from getting from the airport to the hotel, due to the fact that Crystal suddenly remembered that she could not speak a word of French. Crystal’s expertise in the language began and ended with the beginner lessons from Duolingo. Trying to tell a taxi driver the directions to a hotel she could barely remember the name of was difficult enough without the language barrier. After an hour of confusion and broken French courtesy of Google Translate, she finally made it to her hotel. 

As soon as she walked in Crystal felt out of place in the fancy hotel. The twin doors that led into the hotel lobby were a pristine white, with golden door handles. The floor was tiled in fine marble, which made every step echo. Crystal suddenly felt very anxious that her worn-out sneakers would scuff the expensive flooring. The walls were a dark red, covered head to toe in exquisite paintings. Looking to the side, Crystal could see the front desk made from amber-coloured wood and a cream granite top. 

Crystal felt like a fish out of water, the pressure building up. It was suddenly hard to breathe, the open lobby closing in on her. She shouldn’t be here. This place was way too fancy and smart for her. She should have stayed at home in California, drinking cheap vodka with Daegen as they watched shitty horror movies. 

Her worries were quickly interrupted by the sound of a voice behind her.

"Oh, you actually came?"

Crystal stopped short and felt her heart fall into her stomach. Her whole body went tense and she turned around to come face to face with the woman of her dreams (and nightmares). Standing tall in the hotel reception was Gigi Goode, and despite not being that much taller than Crystal it felt like she was towering over her in her designer heels. She was dressed in a white blouse and a tight pencil skirt, a long black coat completing the look. Her black hair was held up high in a bun, not a single hair out of place. She also was wearing sunglasses, making it difficult for Crystal to actually pinpoint Gigi's reaction to seeing her. They were probably Gucci sunglasses, Gigi seemed like the type to own only designer sunglasses, despite the fact the ones from the dollar store did the exact same job.

She looked so perfect it made Crystal want to throw up.

Crystal wanted to respond, to say anything, but all her mind could focus on was  _ GigiGigiGigi _ . She had spent the last year apart dreaming about the opportunity to talk with her ex, but now she actually had the chance she was speechless.

"Crystal? Are you there?"

The blonde shook her head, getting herself out of her thoughts and faked a bright smile, "Yeah, yeah...Hi..."

Gigi stared at her before beckoning a bellboy to take her bags, "I'm surprised you actually showed up."

"Well...you know..." Crystal mumbled, "RSVP and all..."  _ We said we would go together, _ was left unsaid however the weight of the words still laid heavy on their shoulders.

Gigi looked her up and down, almost as if she was analysing the girl before saying, "Is this a bad time to tell you I bought another date?" 

Crystal's mouth fell open, "W-wait what?"

"I'm kidding." She said in a deadpan tone, her facial expression showing no signs that she was joking, "Do you really think that I would let you fly all the way out to Paris just to tell you that?"

The blonde chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of her neck, "I wouldn't put it past you...you always were full of surprises Miss Goode."

"Oh trust me, if it was up to me we wouldn't even be in the same country right now, let alone the same wedding." Gigi stated, her heels clacking against the marble floor as she made her way closer.

"You could have just asked me not to come." Crystal replied defiantly, trying to stand up a little taller.

Gigi took off her sunglasses and Crystal felt her breath hitch as she stared into her ex-girlfriend's piercing blue eyes, "I would have but unfortunately, Nicky always had a soft spot for you, and who am I to go against the bride to be's wishes?"

"I dunno, you've always been good at doing whatever you want without considering others." The blonde muttered under her breath but Gigi either didn't hear her or chose to ignore her.

"You changed your hair." She said as she stared at the girl, eyebrows furrowing.

Crystal blinked in confusion and held a strand of her hair, peering at it, "Oh yeah? I forgot...You haven't seen me since I bleached it blonde."

The truth was Crystal dyed her hair a month after they broke up thanks to another Gigi-related breakdown and left over bleach Daegen had forgotten about. She actually ended up liking the end result and decided to keep it. Not that she was going to tell Gigi any of that.

"In my defence we haven't spoken in a year." Gigi retorted with a scoff.

"Eleven months and twenty days actually...but who's counting?" Crystal replied with a smirk.

"Right..." Gigi said, trying to act nonchalant, but Crystal could see the shock in her eyes at the fact that she had remembered such a detail, "Anyway, we should probably book ourselves in."

The blonde raised an eyebrow, “You haven’t booked in already?”

Gigi shook her head, “I had to wait for you.” She rolled her eyes as she saw Crystal’s eyes widen in hope, “Don’t get too excited, I only waited because the rooms are under my name and as much as I don’t want you here, I don’t want you to sleep in the elevator either. Now...shall we go?”

She nodded and the two walked in an awkward silence to the hotel desk. Crystal hated everything about the situation and began to wonder when the earliest flight back to America would be. It seemed crazy that barely a year ago they could talk for hours about everything and nothing at once, yet now they couldn't say a word to each other without it feeling weird. They arrived at the desk and Gigi pressed the bell to gain the attention of a smartly dressed man sitting behind a computer. She smiled professionally at the receptionist, "Hi, I'd like to check in please."

The man behind the desk smiled, typing onto his computer, "Of course. What's the name of the reservation?"

"Goode," She replied, "Genevieve Goode."

After a few seconds of typing, the man smiled, "Yes...I see you here. Two rooms for three nights apiece. Does that sound correct?" 

Gigi nodded and proceeded to show the receptionist her ID and credit card before grabbing two keys. After thanking the man behind the desk, she shoved one of the keys into Crystal's hands.

"You changed the reservation?" Crystal questioned, gripping onto the key with such force it left imprints on her skin.

Gigi rolled her eyes as she made her way towards the elevator, "Of course I did...Did you honestly think I was going to share a room with my ex-girlfriend?"

"I'm already your date for this wedding so why not go the full mile?" Crystal half-joked. 

"No offence...well actually...full offence, but I'd rather stab myself in the eyes with those tacky earrings of yours."

The blonde faked a gasp and clutched to her neon green dangly earrings, "How dare you! These earrings are high fashion I'll let you know!" 

Replying with a groan, Gigi pressed the button to the elevator, obviously not happy about having to spend any longer with Crystal than she had to, "This is one of the reasons we aren't sharing a room...but also the fact that it means I have more room for my clothes."

Crystal pouted as the elevator dinged and the doors swung open, "You've replaced me with clothes?"

"False," Gigi corrected, "Clothes I can get rid of, you on the other hand I can't seem to escape from." She then walked into the elevator, not even looking back to see if Crystal was following her.

Crystal quickly followed her, stumbling over her own feet as she tried to lug her heavy suitcase. Gigi ignored the other girl's struggles and pressed the button for the twelfth floor.

"That must have cost a bomb though, right?" Crystal asked, slightly out of breath. Why did she pack so many necklaces? They always made her suitcase feel like she was lugging around a sack of bricks.

"What do you mean?" Gigi questioned, avoiding eye contact and tapping her heel against the ground.

"Paying for two rooms instead of one?" Crystal answered, "This hotel wasn't cheap if I remember correctly."

"I can afford it." The taller girl replied bluntly.

Crystal raised an eyebrow, "How? We had to save for  _ months _ just to afford this trip? You even had to sell some of your vintage dresses your mom gave you! Now you can suddenly afford two of the fanciest rooms here?" 

"I have the money now. My career took off over the last year...I was trying to sell some of my designs and I got scouted by a modelling agency." Despite the good news, Gigi's fists were clenched and she still avoided eye contact.

Crystal jumped up and grabbed onto Gigi's arm in excitement, a massive grin on her face, "That's amazing! Why didn't you tell me?"

The dark-haired girl froze for a second before pushing Crystal off her, "We weren't talking. Remember?"

"Oh yeah..." Crystal chuckled awkwardly before a realization hit her, "Wait...what about designing?" 

"Oh...Well, I barely have time to do that now...Modeling takes up a lot of time and energy." 

Crystal's mouth dropped open, "But you love designing clothes?! How could you just forget your passion!" 

"Crystal," Gigi hissed under her breath, "Drop it."

The blonde ignored her, crossing her arms. She was never good at doing what Gigi told her to do, "How can I drop it? You love designing! You love sewing! I don't understand how you could just suddenly lose interest in something you've spent your whole life dreaming about! What changed in the span of a yea-" 

"Last time I checked, I don't have to explain anything to you anymore!" Gigi snapped, turning to face Crystal for the first time since they entered the elevator, her posture stiff and unwelcoming, "Things changed! I changed! You don't know me anymore, okay? Jesus Christ...my therapist warned me about this..."

"Your therapist?" Crystal questioned in a quiet voice.

"Yes! My fucking therapist!" Gigi glared, seething, "I got a therapist because guess what Crystal? My life went on without you! I didn't get to just carry on like you! I had to move on!"

"Do you think it was easy for me?" Crystal spoke out through gritted teeth, "I was heartbroken Gigi!" 

Gigi rolled her eyes, "Oh boo fucking hoo, don't you dare try playing the victim with me! Especially not after what you did to me!" 

The blonde exhaled, "I told you I was sorr-"

"Oh, because that makes it so much better."

"It's the truth!" Crystal protested, "I was sorry and I still am sorry! Fuck! I will always be sorry for what I did, from now until forever! What else could you possibly want?!"

The elevator dinged, the doors swinging open and Gigi walked out, "I want you to leave me the fuck alone." Gigi stormed away and by the time Crystal had lugged her suitcase out of the elevator, the door to Gigi's door had been slammed shut. She stood alone in the hotel hallway, staring at the shut door dejectedly. 

Maybe Daegen was right about this being a horrible idea.


	2. Toothpaste

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i cant believe i wrote another chapter so quickly but the response was so lovely and overwhelming i just had to!!!! thank u guys for ur comments it rlly inspires me to keep writing!!!
> 
> i want to give a quick shoutout to frankenvenus and orphan account (pls get an account already i s2g) they r some of the dearest friends and we have a little chat where we help each other with fic ideas and just scream at each other about lesbians. i rlly hope one day i will be just as good at writing as they r
> 
> another shoutout to the cgps for putting me in timeout AGAIN for this fic. i love yall my number one fans
> 
> and lastly thanks to my gf who has been on call with me the whole time as i wrote this chapter which must have been super boring from them!!
> 
> anyways catch u on the flipside!!! i wonder if any of u caught the hints on why they broke up yet : )

To Crystal’s disappointment, when she woke up she realised she was indeed at Paris for a wedding with an ex that hated her and it wasn’t all some horrific dream. Seeing Gigi again for the first time in months had been a terrible shock to her system. She didn’t know what she expected to see when she saw her again, but the fact that despite her anger, she looked healthy and  _ good,  _ was a massive relief to the girl. Her skin was glowing, she had gained some weight back and she looked well put together. Gigi was safe and that was all that mattered to Crystal, even if it wasn’t with her. 

It certainly was an improvement from the last time she saw her. 

It occurred to Crystal that her worst fear when coming to the wedding wasn’t the fact that Gigi would hate her or be angry with her; it was the idea that Gigi had gotten worse since the last time they spoke. Angry Gigi she could deal with, it was a broken and distant Gigi that scared her. 

Crystal had actually woken up pretty early that day, despite not being a morning person. She couldn’t sleep due to the fact that her mind was overrun with thoughts of her ex-girlfriend and also because she still felt sweaty and gross from the flight the night before.

Putting on her One Direction playlist, she decided to test out the hotel’s showers. She stepped into the shower, her toes flinching as they touched the cold ceramic floor. After spending five minutes trying to work out all the fancy dials and buttons, she eventually managed to turn the shower on and allowed herself to relax in the hot water. Steam filled the room as the water poured over her body, allowing her mind to fade into a relaxed dullness. She sang along loudly to her music as the sensation of the hot water calmed her, allowing her to take her mind off all the stresses and worries of the past few days. 

That relaxation didn’t last long however, as she was interrupted by loud and frantic knocking at her door. Grumbling to herself, she stepped out of the shower and quickly dried herself, throwing her pyjamas back on. Whoever was at the door obviously had no patience, as the knocking quickly became banging.

She opened the door with a roll of her eyes, “Jesus Christ, okay! I’m here!”

Gigi was standing at her door and she looked  _ pissed.  _ She had obviously only just woken up, her long hair not yet styled. She was dressed only in sleeping shorts and a vest top that left little to the imagination. Crystal couldn't help peering down, her eyes drawn like a magnet to her ex-girlfriend's long legs. She remembered how she used to love running her hands down Gigi's legs, leaving soft kisses on her thighs as the girl would whine and-

"My eyes are up here." Gigi snapped, causing Crystal to blush and avert her gaze.

"Uhh y-yeah, sorry." Crystal muttered before plastering on a fake smile, "So to what do I owe this pleasure so early in the morning?"

Gigi glared, "Well, I  _ was _ asleep since I don't have to wake up for another hour, but  _ someone  _ was very loudly screeching One Direction songs at this godforsaken hour."

Crystal clutched her chest and dramatically gasped, "Screeching? I'll have you know I'm an amazing singer!" 

The taller girl rolled her eyes and tapped her foot against the floor, "Is that what you call it?" 

Crystal smirked, slightly amused. Gigi was always fun to tease, "If I remember correctly, you used to  _ love  _ my singing…You never complained when we lived together."

"I also used to love you, " Gigi retorted with a scowl, "But things change."

The blonde's thoughts grinded to a halt and her smirk dropped from her face. She felt her heart stop and she clenched her fists. She suddenly remembered that things weren't the same anymore. She couldn't tease Gigi like she used to because the girl hated her now. 

Well if Gigi wanted to play dirty then so be it.

"Have you ever considered doing something about that problem of yours?" She finally said in a fake cheerful tone with a hint of bitterness.

Gigi raised an eyebrow in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

Crystal smirked, "Oh, you know, that huge fucking stick in your ass. I'll help if you want, but I'm telling you now, I'm only willing to go up to my elbow. Who knows how far that thing is lodged up there."

" _ Fuck you."  _ Gigi hissed before storming off to her own room.

Crystal slammed her door with a sense of victory and tiny hint of guilt. She didn’t come to Paris just to argue with her ex-girlfriend, but Gigi’s bitchy attitude and snarky comments made it very hard not to do so. 

At least arguing was better than the distant and barely communicative Gigi that Crystal saw in the last few months of their relationship. 

Deciding to carry on getting ready, she made her way back into the ensuite and took out her toiletry bag. To her frustration, she realised that she had forgotten to pack herself any toothpaste and after the fabulous taxi disaster the day before, Crystal did not feel brave enough to venture the streets of Paris to try and find a store. 

Realising she only had one option, Crystal put on her slippers and braced herself emotionally. She walked out to the hallway and stood in front of the room right next to hers. Hesitantly, she gave a small knock and Gigi opened the door almost instantly with a glare.

“What do  _ you _ want?”

"Do you have any toothpaste?" Crystal asked begrudgingly 

"Yes." Gigi replied before closing the door in Crystal's face.

“Hey! Hold on!” The blonde protested, slamming her fists against the door, “Open up!”

Gigi opened the door again with a glare, “Are you trying to wake up the whole fucking floor?!”

“Well, maybe I wouldn’t have to, if  _ someone  _ didn’t close the door on my face!” Crystal retorted, “Now can I use your fucking toothpaste?”

“Jesus, fine!” The taller girl relented, opening the door wider to let Crystal in. 

Crystal smiled in mock gratitude, and she mentally tallied herself a victory. Gigi rolled her eyes, “I’ll go look for it now...Don’t touch anything.”

The blonde walked in behind her ex and waited when Gigi went to search in the bathroom. When Gigi’s back was turned, she began to look around the room in curiosity. Just like when they were together, Gigi was still extremely neat. All her clothes were hung up, unlike Crystal who didn’t see the point in taking it out of her suitcase if she was just going to pack it away again in a couple of days. Gigi’s makeup was set out neatly on her dresser and jewellery hung up neatly on the mirror. Crystal felt her heart tug painfully as she noticed a familiar necklace hanging up with a handmade clay heart. She had made that for Gigi and gave it to her on their first anniversary. The fact that she still owned it caused Crystal’s head to spin. 

Despite Gigi's instructions not to touch anything, Crystal could feel the urge building up to snoop inside her bags. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her but her anxiety just wanted to make sure. She had to know if Gigi was hiding anything like she used to. She may have looked much healthier than before but looks could be deceiving. 

Before she could dwell on her paranoia for any longer, Gigi came strolling back into the room, “Okay I found it...Here you go-” Gigi froze as she stared at the blonde girl, arm outstretched with the little tube, “Is...is that my shirt?”

Crystal went red and cursed under her breath as she looked down at her chest.  _ She had forgotten all about the fucking shirt _ . It was a dark grey shirt of Gigi's with some 90s movie print on it that Crystal could never remember the name of. It had been a massive source of comfort to Crystal after their breakup.

“Uhh...no?” Crystal chuckled nervously.

“Crystal, that shirt is two sizes too small for you and your wardrobe only consists of clothes that have at least two clashing colours. That is obviously my shirt.” Gigi replied in a deadpan voice. 

The blonde blushed even more and tried to cover up the shirt with her hands, “Whatever...Finders Keepers! I didn’t even  _ realise  _ it was yours!”

Crystal was a liar. 

Gigi sighed and sat on the bed, her hands clinging to the bedsheets, “Look, I don’t care about the shirt...I think we need to talk and be real for just one minute.”

Crystal nodded and sat down next to Gigi, making sure there was a considerable amount of distance between them so it wouldn’t be awkward, “What do you want to talk about?”

_ Please tell me you want me back. Tell me that we can forget everything that happened. Tell me that you still love me because I love you so much it physically hurts. Tell me it was all a mistake. Tell me you forgive me. I know I fucked up so badly but if I could I would take it all back. Tell me that you are healthy and safe. Please tell me that you have gotten better since I last saw you because it still haunts my nightmares. Please just kiss me, oh God please kiss me. The last time I kissed you I didn’t know it would mean goodbye.  _

“I know things have gotten heated between us,” Gigi replied, looking down at the carpeted floor, “And I am mainly to blame for that...I won’t apologise for being angry...however I do realise that this wedding isn’t about us, and I don’t want to ruin Nicky’s big day with our problems.”

“You have a right to be angry,” Crystal whispered as her body slumped down, “You have every right in the world to hate my fucking guts. I fucked up Gigi, I fucked up really bad.”

“You did,” Gigi said matter of factly, “I won’t pretend that you didn’t hurt me, because I spent so long trying to justify what you did so I wouldn’t feel so guilty for still loving you. However, I won’t deny that I fucked up too.”

“In your defence, I’m pretty sure I messed up the worst.” Crystal chuckled, rubbing the back of her neck.

“Please. Whilst that is true, that is not the point I’m trying to make...I don’t want to ruin Nicky’s wedding with our issues. She helped me a lot over this past year and I don’t want to throw that back in her face.”

“So what are you saying?” The blonde questioned, looking directly at Gigi.

Gigi took a deep breath, “I’m saying that around other people we try and act civil. I don’t care how we act behind closed doors, but around everyone else we pretend we can at least stand to be in each other’s company.”

“I think I can do that,” Crystal said with a nod.  _ Of course she would be able to do that, she was still in love with the damn girl. Even if Gigi was yelling at her it was better than not having the girl in her life at all.  _

Gigi smiled genuinely for the first time since she had seen Crystal and the blonde felt her breath hitch, “Good...Now here,” She passed the tube of toothpaste to Crystal, “I accidentally packed a spare one so you can keep this one. I’m only giving it to you so you won’t have to constantly come here for it.”

“Of course...wouldn’t think otherwise.” Crystal took the small tube and got up again, making her way out of the room. Gigi followed her and stood by the door as Crystal stepped into the hallway.

“Crystal?”

The blonde quickly turned around hopefully, her heart jumping, “Yes?”

“Don’t take this as me accepting your apology. I will never forgive you for as long as I live.” And with that, Gigi spun around and closed the door, leaving Crystal in the hallway alone. 


	3. Merlot and Cigarettes

_ Unsurprisingly to Crystal she woke up alone, the space that Gigi normally occupied cold and empty. She felt herself sigh in relief as she saw Gigi’s stuff still littered around the room and heard someone walking around their apartment. Her girlfriend hadn’t disappeared in the middle of the night like she feared after their argument the night before.  _

_ She got herself out of bed and put on her slippers before going to look for her girlfriend. Crystal walked into their shared kitchen, finding Gigi struggling to grab a mug from the high cupboards due to the cast on her arm. Her face was still pale and her eyebrows were furrowed. The doctors said that she was fit to come home a couple of days ago but Crystal found that difficult to believe when her girlfriend looked like all the life had been sucked out of her.  _

_ "Geege, let me help you with that?" Crystal spoke softly as she moved closer to assist her girlfriend. _

_ Gigi swatted her away with her free hand, "I'm fine. I don't need your help." _

_ Crystal felt her heart tug, "You need help...please...just let me-" _

_ "Haven't you done enough?" Gigi snapped, "I don't want to talk to you right now." _

_ "I think we need to talk about what I told you last night." _

_ "Well, I don't want to talk about it." _

_ Crystal sighed, "Listen, I know you want to ignore it like everything else but we can't just leave this." _

_ "I don't know what the fuck you think you can say to make this better? Do you really think a 'I'm sorry' will make this better? Maybe give me a little time to process the huge fucking bombshell you dropped on me last night." _

_ Crystal felt the tears build up in her eyes, “Geege please...I-” _

_ “Don’t call me that!” The taller girl interrupted with a snap, “You don’t get to call me that anymore.” _

_ She took a step back at her girlfriend’s outburst, knowing that if she tried to comfort her she would just make things worse, “I don’t want to fight before I go to work…” _

_ “Maybe you should have thought of that before you...you…” The dark-haired girl couldn’t finish her sentence as she crumbled to the ground, sobbing heavily. She rocked herself back and forth on the cold kitchen tile, shaking horribly.  _

_ Crystal immediately bent down to comfort her girlfriend, to hug her and kiss her until the only thing she could remember was their lips together, but Gigi quickly pushed her away and crawled further away, “Don’t touch me! S-stop pretending that you care! Just go get ready for work!” _

_ “I do care about you! I love yo-” She tried to protest, but Gigi was not having any of it, scrunching her eyes tight and shaking her head.  _

_ “Stop it! Don’t say it! Don’t you dare say it!” _

_ Crystal was left speechless, staring at the girl in defeat. She had no idea what she could do that would make things better. _

_ “Just leave me alone and go get ready for work...Please…” Gigi said, almost like she had read Crystal’s mind.  _

_ Sighing in defeat, Crystal relented and left her girlfriend alone in the kitchen. She went back to their room to get dressed, feeling too weak to even bother taking a shower. After getting all her stuff together she went to leave their apartment. _

_ Crystal paused at the door, looking back in hope that she would catch a glimpse of Gigi before she left. Before everything Gigi would always give Crystal a million kisses before she went to work, clinging to her like she didn’t want to let her go. That didn’t happen anymore. _

_ “...I love you Geege.” She called behind her. _

_ There was no reply. _

_ Sighing in defeat, Crystal left their apartment to go to her shitty job. When she came back home eight hours later Gigi was already gone.  _

-

“Well look who finally decided to show up!” Nicky spoke loudly across the Hotel’s restaurant area, rushing towards Gigi and Crystal. She opened up her arms and she pulled Gigi into an affectionate hug. 

The wedding was the next day, but Nicky wanted Gigi and Crystal to have lunch with her and Jaida so they could all catch up. The blonde was wary of having to spend time with her ex-girlfriend and her family, but she then realised it would be good practice for the actual wedding day. You couldn’t blame Crystal for being nervous. The last time she had spoken to Nicky was not long after Gigi had disappeared from their apartment. She had sobbed on the phone, begging for her to tell her where Gigi was but Nicky refused to tell her. She only said that Gigi needed time by herself and that she would come back when she was ready. 

She never came back. 

“You already know last night was the earliest time I could arrive here,” Gigi grumbled, wiping down her dress after Nicky had ruffled it with her spontaneous hug. She was wearing a dark red dress paired with a black belt that accentuated her waist. As much as Crystal didn’t want to, she kept sneaking quick glances at her ex-girlfriend, mainly at her legs. She was so beautiful it hurt. 

“I know, I know,” Nicky laughed, “You’re a busy girl now! How was Rome by the way?”

Gigi shrugged, “It was alright...I didn’t get to see much considering I was there for work. It is a beautiful city though, I would love to go back.”

The blonde looked between the two cousins in confusion. Gigi’s sudden increase in wealth was beginning to make more sense now. If the girl was being sent off to places like Rome for modelling gigs then she obviously was doing extremely well. Crystal felt her heart swell in pride. She was so proud of Gigi for succeeding and doing so well, however that didn’t stop the small ache in her heart. She wished she could have been there to see Gigi’s growth. She wished they could have gone to places like Rome together, giggling in a hotel room as Gigi would recount stories about asshole photographers. 

However, Crystal knew in reality that the whole reason Gigi had been able to succeed was because they weren’t together. 

“Don’t think I’ve forgotten about you Miss Methyd!” Nicky spoke out, interrupting Crystal from her thoughts. She hugged Crystal just as tightly as she hugged Gigi and gave her a big grin.

“It’s good to see you Nicky,” She replied, hugging her back. Crystal had always liked Nicky. Despite being cousins, Nicky had always treated Gigi like a younger sister and in turn treated Crystal like she was a member of the family as well. She was a good laugh and despite her deadpan sense of humour and brutal honesty, she was extremely kind. She was also beautiful, sharp features accentuated by her dark hair styled in a pixie cut. Honestly, Crystal wondered what was in their family’s genetics that created such beautiful people like Gigi and Nicky. 

“It’s good to see you too! It’s been so long! It must have been a year since we’ve spoken, right?” Nicky asked. 

_ Eleven months and twenty-one days. When Gigi wouldn’t answer her phone you were the first person I called. I begged you to let me see her, I knew she was with you, I could hear her crying in the background. You told me to give her space. You told me to give her time. I only listened because if I could I would give her the whole entire world. I would do anything for her. I listened and didn’t call you again. I wish I had.  _

“Yeah,” Crystal choked out, plastering a fake smile, “It’s been a year.”

“I don’t mean to interrupt but where’s Jaida?” Gigi spoke up and Crystal thanked her silently in her mind for changing the subject.

“Oh! How could I forget my bride to be!” Nicky answered before pulling the two girls along, “She’s already at our table, come on.”

They followed the French girl until they came up to a small table in the corner of the dining area, not too far away from the bar. Crystal’s throat went dry as she looked between the bar and Gigi, but her ex-girlfriend seemed to pay no attention to it. She was quickly distracted from her thoughts when she noticed Jaida.

Just like her fiance, Jaida was stunning. Her brown hair cascaded past her shoulders in waves. Like Crystal, she had curly hair, however whereas Crystal’s hair looked like her hair had been dragged through a bush, Jaida always managed to look effortlessly beautiful. It was honestly offensive to Crystal that she was expected to have lunch with three ethereal goddesses and not feel even slightly out of place. 

“It’s good to see you girls again!” Jaida said in her warm accent that made Crystal’s worries flow away. Whilst she hadn’t met her as much as Nicky, the blonde had a soft spot for Jaida. She was the kindest person she had ever met, able to make you feel right at home with only a few words. 

She stood up and gave her future wife a kiss on the cheek before pulling Gigi and Crystal into tight hugs. The blonde couldn’t help but notice that Gigi didn’t complain like she did when Nicky hugged her. It seems like even her ex-girlfriend wasn’t susceptible to Jaida’s charms. 

They all sat down at the table and began to catch up with each other. To Crystal’s relief there was no awkwardness or bitter comments from her ex. It seemed that Gigi really was serious about acting civil. She would even crack jokes with her and throw smiles her way that made Crystal’s heart flip. To anyone who didn’t know any better they could have come across as flirty. 

_ “I will never forgive you for as long as I live.” _

But Crystal knew better than that. 

The girls had all ordered and eaten their lunches. Crystal had panicked over the prices of the meals but Nicky had quickly reassured her that it was on her and she had nothing to worry about. Crystal smiled but mentally began preparations to find the nearest Mcdonalds to the hotel so she wouldn’t go bankrupt from a sandwich. 

"I'm going to get us some drinks, do you guys want anything?" Jaida asked, standing up from her chair.

Crystal tensed up and felt her heart stop for a split second. She shook her head and without meaning to, her eyes drifted to her ex-girlfriend. 

Nicky subtly jabbed Jaida in the hip with her elbow and gave her a pointed look. She whispered to her, trying to be discreet, " _ Babe…" _

Gigi simply smiled softly in response and shook her head, "It's fine. I'll have some water please." 

The blonde felt herself exhale a breath she didn't even realise she was holding in. This action didn't go unnoticed by Gigi, who stared directly at her before averting her gaze.

Jaida nodded, "Okay, I'll get some wine for me and Nicky and some water for you. Be right back."

Once Jaida had left to make her way to the bar, Nicky turned to Gigi, shooting her a quick apologetic look, "Sorry about that...Anyway, did you get the dress? I hope the measurements are all okay?"

Gigi nodded, "It fits perfectly, thank you. You really did pick a beautiful one." 

"Well, Jaida helped," Nicky chuckled, "She has amazing taste."

Confused, Crystal looked between the two girls, "Huh? What are you guys talking about? What dress?" 

Nicky replied with a grin, pulling Gigi closer and rubbing her head affectionately, "Did you not hear? My baby cousin is my maid of honour!" 

Gigi huffed, pulling away and trying her best to fix her ruffled hair, "I'm only a few years younger than you."

“That doesn’t change the fact that you will always be Baby Geege to me!” Nicky grinned.

Crystal winced slightly at the pet name used for her ex-girlfriend but quickly shook it off, “I didn’t know...Congratulations Gigi.”

The dark-haired girl shuffled uncomfortably and looked down. Crystal noticed that her cheeks had flushed a soft pink, “It’s not that big of a deal...All I have to do is walk with Nicky down the aisle and then do a speech at the reception…”

“You know she refuses to tell me what she’s written down for her speech?” Nicky said, turning her attention to Crystal, “She won’t even give me any hints!”

“That’s because it’s meant to be a surprise you bitch!” Gigi protested and the blonde chuckled. 

“I’m sure it will be great…” Crystal said softly in earnest. Gigi’s eyes widened in surprise and she looked like she wanted to say something but was quickly interrupted by Jaida’s return, dropping a tray of drinks onto the table with a clang. 

“They didn’t have any pinot grigio so I got us merlot Nicks, I hope that’s alright?”

Nicky smiled brightly at the return of her girlfriend and gave her a quick kiss, “That’s okay  chérie .”

Crystal looked across at Gigi and noticed her face had gone pale. She was staring at the two glasses of wine intently and her fingers were gripped tightly to the chair, Crystal was worried for a second she would scratch the expensive wood with her fingernails. After a minute of staring, Gigi quickly stood up and coughed awkwardly, “Sorry...I’m just going to get some fresh air for a minute...Pardon me…”

She quickly rushed out of the room, stumbling slightly over her heels. Nicky instinctively stood up to go after her cousin but Crystal waved her down.

“It’s okay,” She said, standing up, “I’ll go check on her. You enjoy your drinks.”

Nicky looked at Crystal hesitantly, her lips ready to protest, however Jaida rested her hand on Nicky’s shoulder and gave her a reassuring nod. Nicky sighed and turned back to Crystal, “Fine...You go.”

The blonde shot the couple a quick thank you for the food and then rushed out to go find her ex-girlfriend. 

-

It didn’t take long for Crystal to find her ex-girlfriend. When they were together, everytime Gigi would get overwhelmed she would go somewhere where she could breathe and feel less trapped, which normally meant somewhere outdoors. 

Gigi was sitting outside the hotel on a small wooden bench. She held a cigarette with a shaky hand, looking out at the distance with a frown. The blonde raised her eyebrow in surprise but made her way towards her anyway. 

Crystal sat next to her, "I didn't know you smoked now."

The dark-haired girl scoffed, "You don't know a lot of things about me. Not anymore."

"True," She replied honestly with a shrug, "But maybe I want to get to know you again."

Gigi's expression dropped and she looked at Crystal with wide eyes. For the first time since they had arrived in Paris she looked at Crystal with no walls built up around her. Her guard had been let down and she finally was open again. No angry remarks, no bitchiness, just Gigi.

"I didn't tell her you know?"

Crystal looked at her in confusion, "Huh?"

"I didn't tell Nicky what you did….I couldn't…" Gigi bit her bottom lip, her cigarette burning down to a stump in her fingers. 

That had honestly surprised Crystal, but also it explained a lot. Despite acting like Nicky was an annoyance to her, Nicky was Gigi’s best friend and she told her everything. The fact she hadn’t told Nicky why they had broken up was surprising. However, she couldn’t help but feel some relief at the fact that Nicky didn’t know. She was sure if the French girl actually knew what had happened during their relationship, she wouldn’t currently be in Paris for a wedding, but ten feet under, stabbed in the eye with one of Nicky’s designer heels. 

On the other hand, if Gigi never told Nicky then there was a very high chance that she hadn’t told  _ anybody.  _ Whilst that should have been a relief to the blonde, in reality she knew that it meant Gigi had kept it buried for over eleven months and that couldn't have been healthy for the girl. Crystal had seen what had happened when Gigi repressed her problems firsthand.

_ Unpaid bills. Long hours at a job she hated. Another unsold design. Bottles hidden away in the cupboard. Crying when she thought Crystal was asleep. Empty bottles in the trash can outside. The phone ringing at 1am. Ambulance sirens. The cold hospital room. The feeling of losing someone who was still there. _

It haunted Crystal.

"Why didn’t you tell her?" She finally asked.

Gigi trembled and let out a hoarse laugh, "Because a part of me still cared about you...and I didn't want anyone else to hate you like I did. It was  _ me  _ who was hurt and I wanted those feelings to be all mine….I wanted something to be mine for once."

“I was always yours.” Crystal whispered.  _ I still am all yours, I love you so much it physically hurts. You have to believe me.  _

“Could have fooled me.” Gigi muttered as she re-lit her cigarette, taking a slow drag. 

The two sat in silence, the cold wind causing Crystal to shiver. The sounds of the bustling city surrounded them and Gigi threw her cigarette on the ground, stepping on the stub with her heel. 

“How long have you been clean?” Crystal spoke up, finally asking the question that had been weighing on her mind since she had arrived in Paris. 

“Eleven months and and fourteen days,” She answered. 

The blonde's mouth dropped open and she spun to face Gigi, “Wait...but that’s-”

“Exactly a week after we broke up,” Gigi interrupted, “I know.”

“You look good.” Crystal said awkwardly, unsure with how to react to Gigi’s statement. 

“Thank you,” Gigi replied, looking down, a war of emotions on her face, “You know...as much as I  _ hated  _ what you did to me, I honestly do think it caused me to reevaluate everything.”

“What do you mean?”

“It finally made me realise that there was a problem,” Gigi continued, “After I left I stayed with Nicky and told her about the drinking...She helped me look at my options...I did twenty days of inpatient and then afterwards she helped me pay for a therapist...It was hell but it was worth it.”

Crystal felt the tears fall down her cheek and without thinking, she pulled Gigi into a tight hug. Gigi still smelt of lemon shampoo and expensive perfume, only this time it was mixed in with the smell of cigarette smoke. The blonde began to cry harder as it sunk in even more just how much she missed everything about Gigi.

“I’m...I’m so sorry,” She cried out on her ex-girlfriend’s shoulder, “I-I should have been there for you...I should have been there...I-I’m so proud of you, I just wish I could have been part of your recovery.”

Gigi pulled away and smiled sweetly at her, “Hey...Don’t cry...If anything you set it all in motion...maybe not in the  _ best  _ way but hey? I’m alive aren’t I?”

“God,” Crystal choked out, “You have no idea how  _ glad  _ I was when I saw you.I don’t think I could have handled it if you had gotten worse or even...even-”

The words died in her throat as she was interrupted by Gigi connecting their lips together. Her eyes widened in surprise but she quickly gathered herself and kissed her back, wrapping her arms around the taller girl. 

_ The last time I kissed you I didn’t know it would be the last time. If this is my chance at a redo then let me kiss you again and again. I never thought I would have the chance to feel you pressed up against me again, and now I don’t know how I ever lived without it.  _

Gigi ran her hands through Crystal’s hair and the effect was instantaneous, the shorter girl melting into her touch. The kiss was slow and sweet, tasting salty from tears. It was like coming home again, relearning everything she had forgotten over the past months. The last time they had kissed it had no meaning behind it, it was a kiss for the sake of kissing. This kiss was different. This kiss was an apology. This kiss was a  _ please forgive me. _

But most of all, the kiss was an  _ I missed you.  _

Before she could process what was happening, Gigi pulled away from the kiss quickly, her eyes wide in shock. Her fingers slowly pressed against her own lips, like she couldn’t believe what she had just done, “I...I…”

Crystal moved closer once again and took her hand in her own, “Geege, it’s okay...I-”

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Gigi burst out, pushing Crystal away, her face a deathly white, “I...I...I can’t do this...I spent so long getting over you...you...you  _ don’t get to do this to me!” _

“You kissed me!” Crystal protested.

“And it was a mistake!” Gigi snapped, “You...You come here and act like you care about me and it...it confuses me!”

“I’m not acting!” Crystal replied, her own voice raising slightly, “I genuinely care!”

“Stop that!” The dark-haired girl choked out, tears beginning to run down her eyes causing blotches of mascara to streak down her cheeks, “P-please just stop...I spent months trying to forget you....b-but then you come here and act like everything is okay and it hurts! It’s confusing!”

Gigi stood up quickly and Crystal began to protest, grabbing onto her arm but the girl swatted her away, “I’m sorry...I can’t do this…”

And with that she ran away back into the hotel, the sound of her cries echoing behind her. Crystal sat in the cold spring air, the taste of Gigi still on her lips. It wasn’t until she finally realised Gigi had left her once again that she allowed herself to cry. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> asdfghj this chapter was meant to be written yesterday but i was rlly tired so im sorry about that!!! but here it is!!! sorry if its not v good but i had fun writing it!
> 
> special shoutout to the nancy drews of cgps who made a group chat just to figure out whats going to happen in this fic. its so funny seeing their theories and ideas and honestly is my main inspiration to keep writing this fic!!!
> 
> also thank u guys for all the amazing comments!!! it honestly makes all this writing worth it and ily guys so much!!!


	4. Family Dinners and Hidden Meanings

_ “Hello?” Crystal mumbled, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. It was 1 am and she had been asleep until the loud ringing of her phone woke her up.  _

_ “Is this Crystal Methyd?” The person asked on the other side of the line. It was not a voice that Crystal recognised.  _

_ She sat up slowly and looked to the other side of the bed. It was empty, unsurprisingly to Crystal, “Yes, that’s me. Who is this?” _

_ “This is the emergency services. We found your name in Miss Goode’s emergency contacts.” _

_ Crystal felt her heart stop, her whole body tensing as she clung onto the phone, “W-what? Is Gigi okay?! What happened?” _

_ Crystal could feel the panic begin to build up in her body slowly, her body going into a cold sweat. Hundreds of possible reasons for the phone call firing in her head like a machine gun, none of them being positive.  _

_ “She is okay, she has been taken to the hospital,” The woman on the line replied, “She was in a car accident just outside of Inglewood. She was unconscious when the emergency services arrived however further inspection showed that the worst of her injuries is some broken bones. She should make a speedy recovery.” _

_ Crystal could barely process the words she was saying. Her girlfriend had gotten into an accident. Her girlfriend had gotten hurt and Crystal had been asleep when it happened. Her heart raced and if she wasn’t gripping onto her phone so tightly, she would have dropped it to the ground by now. Her brain felt like it was on fire, an exploding bomb of conflicting emotions and instructions. She wanted to run, run to Gigi, however her legs were frozen in place. She was unable to move a muscle, the news still swirling around in her head.  _

_ “-However, I think it is important that we do inclose some vital information to you.” _

_ “What?” Crystal whispered, surprised that her body was able to choke out anything at all.  _

_ The woman on the end of the line paused for a moment before continuing, “We do have reasons to suspect that Miss Goode was inebriated and that was what caused the accident.” _

_ Oh. _

_ If Crystal told anyone she was surprised then she would be a liar. When Gigi didn’t come home that night, Crystal already had a pretty good idea of where her girlfriend was. She never questioned Gigi about it considering she already knew the answer. She chose to ignore the countless empty bottles hidden away in their apartment and the way Gigi would sometimes disappear in the night. It was easier to ignore the problem because finding out the truth would hurt way more, even if she already knew what it was  _

_ She knew it wasn’t healthy. She knew that it was a problem. She knew that their money issues had been affecting Gigi badly. She knew that everytime Gigi failed to sell a design it broke her girlfriend more and more. She knew that her girlfriend needed a way to cope, and she knew that it was all causing her to become more and more distant. However, Crystal ignored it and pretended everything was fine. She was scared that if she tried to push for answers she would only push Gigi further away.  _

_ She couldn’t pretend anymore.  _

_ Crystal wanted to scream, to wrap herself back up in the warm blanket and cry into the pillow. She wanted to hide herself away from the world and forget everything, to go back to when everything was okay. Her lungs felt like they were filled with cement, her whole body heavy. Everything hurt and she didn’t know what to do about it. She wanted to hug Gigi and never let her go, keeping her safe from all the horrors of the world. She also wanted to ignore everything, the idea of seeing Gigi causing bile to rise up her throat.  _

_ She was tired. She just wanted to be held and cared for. She wanted to forget everything.  _

_ “Miss Methyd? Are you still there?” _

_ Crystal was snapped out of her thoughts and turned her attention back to the phone call, “Yeah...yeah, I’m still here…” _

_ “I know this must be very difficult news for you to process. I will send you all the details of where she had been taken now.” _

_ “Thank you…” She choked out.  _

_ It didn’t matter how she felt. Gigi was the most important thing to her right now.  _

_ - _

Crystal had tried to find Gigi and talk to her but her ex-girlfriend was either deliberately ignoring her or had a secret talent for hide and seek that Crystal never knew about. 

She didn’t see the girl again until the evening. Nicky and Jaida were holding a fancy dinner in the hotel restaurant as a pre-celebration for the wedding the next day, and all the guests were invited. On one hand, Crystal was grateful for the free food, however it meant that she had to suffer through a long dinner surrounded by Gigi’s relatives, which was less than ideal. Then again, what did she expect she would be doing when she said she was still going to the event?

_ Let’s be honest here, you thought you would have some romantic reunion with Gigi where she ran into your arms and realised that she couldn’t live without you. You thought she would forgive you for everything and kiss you like nothing else mattered. You’re an idiot.  _

The dinner went horribly. The seating arrangements had been organised beforehand so Crystal found herself having to sit with a relative of Jaida’s (Not bad), Gigi’s mom (Awkward but not terrible), Gigi’s dad (Awful. He didn’t even like her  _ before  _ the breakup), and worst of all, Gigi herself.

If the dinner went anything like the lunch they had with Nicky and Jaida then Crystal would have no complaints. However, Gigi’s mood had soured incredibly since they last saw each other and she tried her best to ignore Crystal’s existence altogether. 

The only time Gigi didn’t ignore her was when she wanted to be bitchy towards her. She seemed to have forgotten all about their pact to be civil to each other in public, as Gigi spent the evening throwing subtle jabs and insults Crystal’s way. Her attitude was just as sour as the lemon sorbet they had for dessert. 

Honestly, it pissed Crystal off. Gigi was the one who kissed  _ her,  _ not the other way round, so it made no sense for Gigi to be so angry about the whole situation. Not to mention, it was really embarrassing to be insulted by your ex-girlfriend when said ex-girlfriend’s parents were also at the table. Mrs Goode would shoot her apologetic looks over the course of the dinner, almost like she was trying to apologise for her daughter’s behaviour. Mr Goode took no notice, choosing to act like Crystal didn’t exist. 

After the dinner, Crystal stormed to Gigi’s room. She didn’t mind Gigi wanting nothing to do with her, but it was a different story altogether when she treated her like trash in front of other people. If Crystal wanted to be ridiculed she could have stayed at home for that, thank you very much. She didn’t need to take a twelve hour flight to Paris to feel like a piece of shit. 

Crystal took a deep breath and knocked loudly on the door, steam practically pouring out of her ears. It only took Gigi a couple of seconds to open the door.

“What are you doing here?” Gigi questioned, a permanent scowl on her face.

Crystal ignored her and marched into her ex-girlfriend’s room, despite her protests, “What the fuck happened to acting civil Gigi?!”

Gigi huffed and slammed her door, turning to face Crystal with a glare, “I changed my mind! Am I not allowed to do that?”

“ _ No,  _ you are not allowed to do that!” Crystal argued back, “Especially out of the blue when we have to eat dinner with your whole fucking family! Do you know how embarrassing that is?!”

The tall girl scoffed and flipped her hair back, “Oh, you want to talk about embarrassing  _ Crystal?  _ We can talk about fucking embarassing!”

“Can we not do this no-”

“You  _ cheated  _ on me Crystal,” Gigi hissed with venom, “You slept with another girl when I was in  _ hospital.  _ So if you want to talk about embarrassment then I think I win, because do you know how  _ humiliating  _ that is?!”

Crystal froze, her bottom lip trembling. Ever since she told Gigi what had happened, her ex-girlfriend had never been able to say the big ‘C’ word, no matter how angry she got. It was almost like if she put the words out into the open it would become too real. She knew Gigi was remembering the night she told her. That horrible, terrible night when she re-lived what she had done, how-

_ -how that stranger's hands had felt on her hips, how they felt hot enough to burn and leave scars. How wrong it felt, the hands were too rough and hard, nothing like the soft delicate hands of her girlfriend. Her mind was buzzing and nothing made sense. She wanted to stop, she wanted to leave and run away because it was all wrong, so wrong. But she didn’t stop, her mind a whirlwind of emotions. She was scared, she was confused and nothing made sense anymore, her body running on autopilot.  _

_ ‘This isn’t right’ she thought to herself, the phrase repeating in her head like a mantra, but her body refused to cooperate. She was so alone, she just needed comfort, she needed someone to remind her that she existed. She was so fed up of feeling sad and numb all the time, she just wanted to feel something again.  _

_ It wasn’t until she felt the stranger’s hot breath burning down her neck that she finally snapped out of her daze, the reality of the situation sinking in. She apologised and ran away, the guilt building up in her stomach like an acid.  _

_ She confessed to Gigi a week later when her girlfriend was finally out of hospital. Crystal had never been good at keeping secrets. When Gigi stared at her with glassy and distant eyes, Crystal wanted to scream and cry, a hurricane building up in her chest, but she didn’t. She didn’t deserve to cry, after all she- _

She had betrayed Gigi. There was no sugar-coating what she had done. Granted, she never actually slept with the girl, but that didn’t matter to Gigi. She went far enough for it to cause damage. 

Crystal stared at the carpet in shame, her face and neck burning red, “I don’t know what you want me to say Gigi? I was sorry, I  _ still am  _ sorry for what I did. I honestly know that nothing I say will make it better, but you have to believe me! I have never stopped feeling guilty about it, and I probably never will! I will regret it for the rest of my life, okay? Are you happy now?”

“Happy?” Gigi snorted, “Not by a long shot.”

The blonde made her way closer to her ex, staring at her deep in the eyes. Her bottom lip trembled but she ignored it, “Gigi...I hurt you and it’s okay for you to feel hurt...Just please...let me help you...let me fix the mess I made.”

“What makes you think you can solve it?” Gigi snapped, however her resolve was dropping, her expression and body language becoming more vulnerable. 

“Because you kissed me,” Crystal said matter of factly, “If you truly hated me you wouldn’t have done that. You would have told me to leave you alone.”

“ _ I do hate you. _ ” Gigi whispered, the lie unconvincing even to herself. 

“Then prove it,” Crystal replied, “Tell me to leave, right now. Tell me you never want to see me again and I’ll do it for you. I would do anything for you and that includes leaving you.”

Gigi stared at her in silence, her fists clenched tightly. Crystal couldn’t help but notice the way her body shook and the way her eyes watered. Eventually after what felt like an eternity. Gigi dropped her stance and looked down at the carpet in defeat. Crystal smiled knowingly.

“See...I told yo-” Crystal was interrupted and the words died in her throat as Gigi lunged towards her, crashing their lips together for the second time that day. 

Unlike earlier, this kiss was hot and desperate. Gigi wrapped her arms around Crystal’s body, her hands travelling up and down Crystal’s back. Crystal began to kiss her back with just as much force, unwilling to admit how much she missed the way Gigi’s body would press up against hers. 

Gigi kissed Crystal with such force and ferocity it left her breathless. It was when she bit down on her lip and Crystal let out a small whine that the fire in Gigi’s eyes burned even greater. She wasted no time, pulling Crystal along and pushing her onto her bed. 

“W-wait,” Crystal stammered as she caught her breath, her cheeks flushed, “Isn’t this too fast...Geege…”

“Shut up,” The dark-haired girl replied, ignoring Crystal’s worries and leaning over her to leave open-mouthed kisses on her neck. She straddled the blonde and began to grind down on her. 

Crystal’s breath hitched and whined softly, pulling Gigi closer, “I..I just... _ fuck... _ I don’t want you to regret anything...or...or...panic again.”

Gigi rolled her eyes, “Do you want me to fuck you or not?” She said the words bluntly, almost like five minutes ago she wasn’t telling Crystal how much she hated her. 

The blonde nodded her head furiously, “ _ I do... _ I just don’t want this to-”

Gigi placed a finger on Crystal’s mouth and shushed her, “It’s  _ fine.  _ Now be quiet or I’ll send you back to your own room.”

Crystal whimpered but nodded her head, not saying another word. Gigi smiled triumphantly and kissed her again, one hand stroking her cheek. 

“Good girl,” Gigi whispered, her breath hot on Crystal’s ear. She shuddered at the praise. 

The blonde could feel her heart race as Gigi nipped on her bottom lip. She had missed the feeling of Gigi’s lips against hers so badly and she  _ craved  _ for Gigi to touch her, to do  _ anything.  _

Almost like she could sense her desperation, Gigi began to pull at Crystal’s shirt, growling lowly as she kissed her bruisingly. The blonde complied and helped the girl in ridding herself of her shirt and bra, throwing them to the floor without a second glance. 

Gigi looked at her in hunger and began kissing down her chin and neck before reaching Crystal’s chest. Crystal felt her breath hitch as Gigi stared at her breasts admiringly. 

She noticed Gigi’s gaze linger on her nipple piercing and she smirked, her ex had always loved it. Gigi's tongue darted out and she licked her lips before she leaned down and began to swirl her tongue around Crystal’s nipple, paying extra attention to the piercing. The blonde gasped, spurring Gigi on to bite down slightly. 

“I missed this…” Gigi mumbled under her breath quietly, barely audible to Crystal. 

Crystal was almost so focused on the feeling of Gigi’s mouth on her nipples that she didn’t notice the girl’s hand undoing the buttons on her jeans. She didn’t realise until she felt Gigi’s hand dip between her legs, her fingers brushing against her thighs tantalizingly. 

The blonde bucked her hips up by instinct and Gigi chuckled, “You’re so wet…”

“No shit,” Crystal grumbled, fed up with the girl teasing her. She was desperate to be touched.

“I’ve barely done anything yet...” Gigi whispered as she slid a finger into Crystal, causing her to gasp, “...yet somehow you’re soaking...I bet you could take my strap right now with no hesitation.”

Crystal groaned hard and deep, the memories of how Gigi would sometimes push her against the table and fuck her so hard with her strap that she wouldn’t be able to walk the next day swirling in her mind. This didn’t go unnoticed by Gigi who smirked and added another finger. 

“You like that, huh? Well what if I told you I could make that a reality?” Gigi whispered as she fucked Crystal with her fingers at an agonizingly slow pace. 

The blonde nodded frantically, her mind buzzing in a mixture of arousal and excitement, “ _ Please…” _

To her disappointment, Gigi pulled her fingers out of Crystal, causing her to feel empty. However, her heart raced as she watched Gigi walk across the room to her suitcase. She bent over to search in it and Crystal allowed herself to stare at Gigi’s ass with no guilt. After a few seconds of searching Gigi pulled out an eerily familiar looking red dildo. 

Despite her excitement, Crystal raised an eyebrow, “Do you want to tell me why you packed a strap for your cousin’s wedding?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Gigi glared but made her way back to Crystal, kissing her furiously once again. 

“Okay, shutting up now...whatever you want” Crystal said against Gigi’s lips, a knowing smirk planted on her face. She didn’t need an answer when she knew it was the  _ exact same reason  _ she packed her ‘sexy underwear’ as Daegen called it. 

Gigi pushed her down roughly to the bed and looked her up and down, “Take off the rest of your clothes,” She commanded. 

Crystal complied, frantically shuffling out of her jeans and underwear and throwing them to the side. She watched in awe as Gigi took her dress off, folding it neatly before placing it on a chair. This left the girl in a matching set of black lacy lingerie that made Crystal’s throat go dry. She watched as Gigi pulled the harness up her legs and tightened the buckles around her waist. The blonde felt her body vibrate and clench in anticipation. 

“Turn around,” Gigi stated and Crystal knew that it wasn’t a question, it was a demand. She did as she was told, swallowing hard. 

Gigi smirked at Crystal’s eagerness and slowly made her way towards her. She pushed her head down onto the mattress, her hand tangled in Crystal’s curly blonde locks. She pushed the strap-on through her folds, teasing the girl as it bumped against her clit. 

“ _ Please…”  _ Crystal whined, grinding down on the dildo, desperate for any kind of friction. 

“Please, what?” Gigi said and even though Crystal couldn’t see her face she could hear the grin in her words. 

The blonde huffed and groaned, “Please  _ fuck me... _ Geege...please…”

Crystal could feel Gigi freeze behind her and then she realised her mistake. She hadn’t called Gigi by that pet name since they broke up. She was about to turn around to face her ex-girlfriend and ask her if she was alright when she felt Gigi’s sharp nails dig into her hips causing her to yelp. 

The only warning Crystal had that anything was going to happen was Gigi’s tight grip on her hips. Then she felt the head of the dildo being guided towards her entrance before Gigi slammed it into her, impaling her from behind. Crystal choked out in surprise and felt her eyes roll back at the sudden intrusion. 

“F-fuck!” Crystal cried out. The air in the hotel room was stale and warm, causing her sweat to stick to her body. 

Gigi pulled Crystal’s hair roughly as she began to thrust into her, fucking her with no restraint. The blonde could feel her hips moving involuntarily with the thrusts, desperately trying to take her deeper. Gigi noticed this and chuckled. 

“Did you miss this Crystal? Did you miss me fucking you like this?” Gigi whispered as she tucked a strand of Crystal’s hair behind her ear. 

“Yes!” Crystal moaned and nodded, “I missed this  _ sososo _ much!”

“Did you ever think of me when you got fucked by other girls? Did you spend the past year desperately searching for someone who would make you feel as good as I do?” Gigi asked and even though she said the words with confidence, Crystal could hear her voice crack a little at the end. 

“N-no,” Crystal whimpered and panicked when she felt Gigi slow down, “N-Not like that! I didn’t- I didn’t fuck anyone else when we broke up...I only wanted  _ you.” _

Gigi stopped suddenly, “You...You didn’t sleep with anyone else?”

The blonde shook her head and turned to try and face Gigi, “No...I didn’t…”

Before she could realise what was happening, Gigi flipped her around with a strength Crystal didn’t know she had. Crystal had no time to question anything as Gigi crashed their lips against each other once again. It was less desperate than before. It was still passionate but there was a hidden layer of yearning added to it. 

_ It was just like their first kiss when they had gotten drunk together at a college party. They had gotten bored and decided to ditch the party to hang out in Crystal’s dorm. They stayed up all night laughing and watching shitty horror movies. The alcohol still coursing through their veins as they huddled together on Crystal’s small bed. Gigi’s hands brushed softly against Crystal’s, making them both blush and giggle. She still remembered how her heart pounded out of her chest and how when she looked at Gigi nothing else mattered. She kissed her that night. After years of pining and yearning she finally kissed her and, to her surprise, Gigi kissed her back.  _

To her delight, Gigi continued to fuck the blonde. However, it didn’t seem angry and desperate anymore, especially not with the way Gigi would look at her with soft eyes and stroke her cheek gently. 

Crystal could hear the sound of skin on skin as Gigi continued to thrust into her with no mercy, “I didn’t either...I didn’t…” Gigi finally said, her voice low and soft.

“W-what?” Crystal asked but before she could get an answer she felt Gigi push into her once again,  _ hard,  _ and her whole body spasmed as her orgasm hit her like a truck. Her eyes rolled back and she moaned Gigi’s name out into the air, saying it with such passion like it was a prayer. 

Breathing heavily, Crystal collapsed against the bed, but not before pulling Gigi down with her and kissing her softly on the forehead. A tender moment that needed no words. It was a  _ thank you.  _ It was an  _ I miss you.  _ It was an  _ I’m sorry.  _

But most importantly it was an  _ I love you. _

Gigi laid down next to her and pushed Crystal’s hair out of her eyes with shaky hands. She stared deep into her eyes, “Was...was that okay?” Her voice was quiet, stripped away from all of the confidence she displayed a few minutes ago.

The blonde nodded and shuffled closer to Gigi, “It was great...really,” She looked on as Gigi began to undo the harness and throw the strap-on away to the side, “Did you want me to...return the favour?”

Gigi shook her head, “No...I think I just want to lie down right now…”

“Do you want me to stay with you?” She asked, unable to hide the hint of hope in her tone of voice. 

Gigi nodded and that was all Crystal needed to pull her ex-girlfriend close, wrapping her arms around her. The taller girl snuggled into her and Crystal could feel locks of her dark hair tickle her nose but she didn’t care. 

“We need to talk about this in the morning.” Gigi whispered.

“Of course...in the morning.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I DO IT FOR THE GIRLS AND THE GAYS THATS IT
> 
> so this chapter was a NIGHTMARE TO WRITE but also super fun!!!!! im rlly excited to see the reactions to this one!!!!!!
> 
> we finally find out what crystal did and also we get some crygi bonding yay!!!
> 
> anyways i actually realised i havent dropped my twitter on any of my fics??? so if u wanna follow me and yell at me im @maneatergoode !!!! (its a reference to the song and the jennifers body au)
> 
> see u on the next update!


	5. Shampoo and Pill Bottles

Crystal knew that they promised they would talk in the morning, however, it was quite difficult to have a talk with your ex-girlfriend when her lips were currently pressed against her own.

The blonde would admit it was kind of her fault. She was the one who accidently kissed Gigi on the forehead when they woke up, however, in her defence she was still half-asleep and it was a habit she used to do when they were together. Gigi looked surprised when it happened but it didn't take long before she rushed towards Crystal, and the two girls found themselves attached to each other again. 

What went from soft sleepy kisses, quickly became more heated and before Crystal knew it, Gigi was straddling on top of her, hands travelling down the blonde's body as she explored her mouth. As much as she loved it, Crystal knew realistically that they needed to talk.

"Come on Geege..." Crystal whimpered as she felt Gigi's tongue trace her bottom lip before nipping it quickly, "You...you said you wanted to talk..."

"Yeah, yeah...sure," Gigi said nonchalantly, her full attention going to covering Crystal's face in light kisses.

"G-Geege...you said..."

"I know what I said," Gigi said whilst shushing the blonde, "Just five more minutes...okay?"

Gigi's fingers traced alongside Crystal's hip and she felt herself shudder. She pulled the dark-haired girl closer, melting into her touch. Crystal groaned, the sound strangled in her throat.

"A-ah- fuck, Gigi no," Crystal panted, pulling her lips away from Gigi's, despite her body screaming for her to stay, "Talk...we are talking..."

Gigi sighed and rested her forehead against Crystal's, "Fine...fine...you're right...Let's talk..."

They didn't talk for a while, instead panting heavily in unison, staring into each other's eyes. 

Eventually, Gigi groaned and rolled off Crystal, crashing onto the bed, "So....you first?"

"Wait, what?" Crystal protested, her body turning to face her ex, "You were the one who suggested we talk last night! Why do I have to start?" 

"Because normally you can't shut up!" Gigi retaliated, crossing her arms, "Why is it now the only time you don't know what to say?" 

"How is this fair? It was your idea!" The blonde cried out.

Gigi pouted, "Yes it was my idea...and it is also my idea that you go first!" 

Crystal buried her face in her hands and groaned, "Fine...fine...I'll go..."

They fell in silence once again, both girls laying on their backs and staring at the hotel ceiling. There was a small gap between them, however their hands reached out to each other, fingertips lightly brushing against each other.

Eventually the blonde decided to break the silence.

"Did you hate me for it?" Crystal asked, in a hushed tone. She rubbed her eyes before looking directly at the dark-haired girl.

"I tried." Gigi replied. Her voice was even and calm, "And I think in a way I did hate you for it. It killed me and I wanted to hate you but a part of me couldn't...If I could have just hated you it would have been easier, but the reason it hurt so much was because I didn't. I loved you."

Crystal nodded, "I...I understand that...I hate myself everyday for doing that to you....for ever making you think that I didn't love you because I did...I still do..."

"You were in a dark place," Gigi said, her lip trembling, "We both were...Did you hate me? For the...you know..."

"Yes," The blonde replied honestly, "But mainly I hated what it did to you...I hated the fact you couldn't talk to me..."

Crystal paused for a second to collect her thoughts before continuing, "I hated the distance it put between us."

"Is that why you did it?" Gigi whimpered, trying to hide the fact her bottom lip was trembling, "Is that why you slept with someone else?"

"I told you before, I didn't actually sleep with her-" 

"It doesn't matter," Gigi interrupted, "I don't care about the technicalities...I just want to know why."

"I did it because I was lonely," Crystal spoke out quietly, a blanket of shame and guilt wrapping around her, cold as ice, "I know I shouldn't have been, I had you and I would do anything for you...but...watching you distance yourself from me...it hurt..."

"I..." Gigi began but Crystal didn't let her finish.

"I know it's no excuse for what I did...I'm not trying to justify my actions but...when I got that phone call from the hospital...it broke me Geege...it broke me...I didn't know what to do anymore...I was so lonely...and I just wanted to feel held...I wanted to be comforted...I just wanted to forgot..."

Gigi gulped, her fingers shaking, "So you cheated..."

"Yeah...I did," Crystal said, the honesty wrapping around her neck like a snake, squeezing tightly, "And it was the worst mistake I've ever made in my life...it was a stupid decision made in panic...I just...I didn't want to carry on mourning someone who was still there."

Gigi sat quietly, fiddling with her fingers. Crystal could tell by the way she hollowed her cheeks and picked at her nails, that Gigi was thinking hard. 

Crystal was about to say something to check if Gigi was alright when a loud knock echoed through the room, interrupting her thought process. 

Both girls turned to each other in panic before turning to face the door, both frozen in panic.

"Gigi?" Nicky's voice rang out from behind the door, "Are you awake yet? We have to get ready!" 

"I'm coming!" Gigi called out, her voice cracking slightly. She quickly sat up and jumped out of the bed, grabbing Crystal's clothes on the floor and throwing them at the blonde. 

" _ What are we going to do?!" _ Crystal whispered in a panic, going to help Gigi pick up the clothes they discarded the night before. 

"Go hide in the bathroom," Gigi hissed under her breath, handing Crystal her own bra, "I'll get rid of her somehow."

Crystal was about to protest but Nicky's voice interrupted her, "My dearest cousin, you know I love you but if you make me late to my own wedding I will kill you."

"Jesus Christ Nicky I'm coming!" Gigi yelled, grabbing a vest top and some shorts on the ground and throwing them on. She then pushed Crystal into the bathroom, "Seriously you need to calm down!" 

The blonde felt herself stumble to the ground of the bathroom and looked up to see Gigi closing the door on her, rushing to go answer her cousin. 

Crystal huffed and crossed her arms as she took in her surroundings. Who knew how long it would take Gigi to get rid of Nicky, both girls were terrible for saying they would only be five minutes and then spending hours chatting. Crystal still remembered the time Gigi was three hours late picking up Crystal from the airport, due to the fact she bumped into Nicky on the way when she stopped to buy Crystal flowers. 

From the bathroom, Crystal could hear the door open and Nicky ranting to Gigi in a mixture of English and French that was too fast for her to understand. 

"-you're not even dressed yet?! We have to be ready in a couple of hours!"

"Relax Nicky, I just woke up." 

"You only just woke up?! The one day you decide to sleep in and it's on my wedding day!?" 

"It won't take that long to get ready-" 

"Remember you are doing my hair and make-up too!" 

"Of course I remember! Jesus...Let me get my stuff and we'll get ready in your room." 

Deciding there wasn't much use in eavesdropping, Crystal tuned out the noise and began to observe her ex-girlfriend's bathroom. It looked exactly the same as hers, the same white and gold colour scheme, and fancy shower with too many dials and knobs. The only difference was the fact that Gigi's was still relatively tidy, her toiletries organised neatly in a little bag sat by the sink. Crystal's bathroom was a mess, her shampoo bottles scattered around and towels littered on the ground. 

Something that stood out to Crystal was a bright orange bottle, sitting next to an empty glass on the sink. Letting her curiosity get the better of her, Crystal creeped over and picked up the prescription bottle. Her fingers traced the label of the little bottle as she read it. It was labelled with Gigi's full name and "Sertraline" in a neat typeset. The bottle was half-empty. 

Everything started making sense including Gigi's slight weight gain. She was on antidepressants. 

Crystal put the bottle back where she found it and felt tears begin to prickle in her eyes. The pills were a crushing reminder of how she hadn't been there for Gigi the past year, how Gigi had to pick herself up and carry on, how Gigi had to do it all on her own. 

However, despite the physical evidence of her negligence, Crystal couldn't help but feel a sense of pride and relief swell in her chest. Gigi had needed help, and despite how much it hurt her, Gigi needed more help than Crystal could ever provide and she had gotten it. 

She rubbed her eyes as she stared at the prescription bottle, the bright orange blinding her eyes. She was going to do better this time. No matter where she and Gigi went from this, she was going to improve and fix everything she did wrong. She was going to be better, no matter what.

Deciding to avoid snooping anymore, she sat down on the edge of the bathtub and began to listen in on Gigi and Nicky's conversation once again.

"-I can't wait to see your dress...if it's anything like the dress you got for me I know it's going to be gorgeous." 

Crystal could hear Nicky pause, one of her feet tapping against the floor, "Yeah it is...it isn't the one I wanted though..."

Gigi took a deep breath, "Not this again...please..."

"What?" Nicky replied, "Am I not allowed to be a little upset that my closest cousin refused to design me a wedding dress, despite the fact she said she would since we were kids."

"You know I don't design anymore-"

"And it's bullshit!" Nicky retorted, "You quit your passion because of what? A break up?" 

Crystal felt her heart drop into her stomach. 

"It's not like that..." Gigi spoke quietly, "You know it isn't..."

"What is it then Geege? Because I was there when you threw away your sewing machine and all your fabrics..."

"I...I started modelling! I don't have time for all of that n-now," Gigi stuttered out, the excuse fooling nobody. 

Crystal could hear Nicky's footsteps and her shadow through the crack in the door moving closer to Gigi's, "Don't use that excuse on me...we both know that the reason you quit designing is because it reminded you too much of Crystal." 

A silence overcame the room, the lack of chatter suffocating. Crystal was almost too scared to breathe, afraid it would break the uncomfortable silence. 

"Can we just drop it," Gigi eventually spoke up, her voice low, "I don't want to spend your wedding day talking about Crystal."

"Listen...I'm not judging you or criticising you...I just care about you-"

"I don't want you worrying about me on your big day," Gigi interrupted, "Now come on...I have all of my stuff ready...Let's just go get ready in your room...please."

Crystal began to zone out as Nicky relucted and agreed with Gigi. She stared down at the tiled floor as she thought about everything she had just overheard.  _ She _ was the reason Gigi quit designing.  _ She _ was the reason Gigi had quit her passion. 

The realisation was like a sharp dagger piercing her heart. 

The blonde barely noticed the click of the bedroom door and the footsteps of the two cousins making their way out of the room, her thoughts swirling around like a hurricane.

It looked like she would just have to continue her talk with Gigi later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhhh i know its been a while since ive updated and this chapter is rlly shit but im not at home rn and i dont have my laptop so i thought a short update would be better than no update ajshsjs
> 
> im sorry for making u all wait tbh i havent had much motivation to write since i havent been havin a great time but i hope u all enjoy!!
> 
> once again catch u on the flipside


	6. Fancy Juice and Sappy Speeches

The wedding ceremony was beautiful, filled to the brim with warmth and love. Jaida was beaming at the altar, wearing a simple white dress, clean lines with a lavender waistband and bow. She looked ethereal, her dark hair cascading past her shoulders in waves. 

As much as it hurt, Crystal couldn’t help but imagine Gigi in Jaida’s position. Knowing her ex-girlfriend, Gigi would want to wear a dress her mother had designed. She remembered helping Gigi sort out her mother’s attic and the way her eyes sparkled and lingered on a cream wedding dress in the corner of the room. Afterwards the dark-haired girl had admitted to Crystal that when she was younger she used to dream of getting married in that gown. She would sneak up to the attic when her mom wasn’t home and stare at the dress, doodling it in her sketchbooks. She never tried to wear it as she was too scared to ruin the garment. 

After that conversation Crystal had made it her goal to one day put a ring on Gigi’s finger and to see her walk down the aisle in that very dress. 

The wedding march began to play, the sounds of trumpets and the organ overwhelming Crystal’s ears. She turned her attention to the bottom of the aisle and felt her breath stop as she noticed the bridesmaids make their way into the room. There were four of them altogether, dressed up in simple lilac dresses, bows wrapped around their waists. Crystal didn’t recognise the other three bridesmaids but she didn’t care as her attention was solely focused on Gigi. The dark-haired girl led the group down the aisle, a bright smile on her face and a bouquet of purple roses in her hands. Her hair was held up in a loose bun, some stray curls let down to accentuate her face. Crystal could feel her heart tug at the sight of Gigi looking so beautiful, but decided to ignore that feeling and instead focus on the immense pride she felt seeing her ex-girlfriend look so happy and healthy. 

Crystal couldn’t understand how everyone else in the ceremony could focus on the brides when Gigi was there, practically glowing. When the bridesmaids finally made their way to the end of the aisle, Crystal tried her best to take her attention away from Gigi and actually focus on the ceremony but it proved too difficult. The words of the priest went through one ear and straight out the other, her attention wholly focused on her ex-girlfriend. No matter how much she tried her best to ignore the feelings bubbling up inside her and just focus, her mind instead just went round in a circle, repeating the same thoughts over and over. 

_ I still love her, I never stopped loving her, I don’t think I could stop loving her even if I tried. We could have had this if I hadn’t have been so stupid. It could have been us. It could have been us at the aisle, the tears forming down my eyes as I watched Gigi walk down in the wedding gown she wanted ever since she was a little girl. It could have been us, reading out cheesy vows and anticipating the special moment when the priest finally says- _

“You may now kiss the bride.”

The blonde was suddenly shaken out of her spiralling thoughts and turned her gaze back to Nicky and Jaida, who were staring at each other lovingly before leaning in and kissing each other softly, obviously holding back slightly due to the presence of their family members. Crystal tried to hold back her feelings of jealousy and envy to instead focus on the pride and happiness she felt for her two friends. 

Averting her gaze back to Gigi briefly, she noticed her ex-girlfriend wipe away a tear. It made the blonde begin to wonder if she was just emotional about the ceremony or if she was having the exact same thoughts as Crystal. 

-

For most of the dinner, Crystal stayed silent. She was sat next to Gigi and despite how close they were sitting next to each other, she felt miles away from her ex-girlfriend. She knew they needed to talk and she could feel the words building up in her throat, ready to burst and flow out like a volcano erupting. However, Crystal knew it wasn’t the time to talk about their issues. They were at a wedding and despite how much it hurt, she knew she had to keep it together for the sake of Jaida and Nicky.

As Gigi made small talk with the other bridesmaids, Crystal would glance at her in intermittent moments out of her peripheral, her hand clenched tightly over her knee. She wanted so badly to reach across and just hold her ex-girlfriend’s hand. That was one thing she never realised she would miss when they broke up. The small moment of sweet comfort she would get as their fingers wrapped together, the feeling that she wasn’t alone, that no matter what she would always have someone by her side. 

She wished fruitlessly that she had the bravery to just do it, but instead settled with the brief glimpses of the woman she loved. 

Deciding to break her silence, Crystal nudged Gigi slightly with her elbow and smiled at her, “Do you want me to buy you a drink? I noticed they had some really fancy juices here, I didn’t even know that many fruits existed.”

Gigi raised an eyebrow at her, “You know this is a paid bar, right? The drinks are free.”

The blonde’s face dropped in realisation but she quickly covered it up with a nervous chuckle, “Oh yeah...I forgot about that…”

“You literally ordered a drink like five minutes ago.”

“I have short-term memory loss?” Crystal replied weakly, shrugging her shoulders. 

Gigi giggled, “Like a goldfish?”

Crystal’s shoulders slumped in relief as she heard Gigi’s laugh, making her relax slightly. She pretended to pout and crossed her arms, “I’m nothing like a goldfish! I’m way sexier!”

“I don’t know,” Gigi replied with a chuckle, “I think the goldfish may have one-upped you on that scale.”

The blonde huffed, “You meanie! Anyways if that’s what you really think then doesn’t that make you a furry?”

“Oh, you’re calling me a furry? That’s rich coming from you!” Gigi snorted, “Also do goldfishes count as furries? They don’t have fur.”

“Okay then, a scalie? Is that the right term for it?”

“I don’t think I’m educated enough on the furry community to have this conversation,” Gigi deadpanned. 

Crystal snorted and was about to retaliate when Nicky came up to the table and tapped on Gigi’s shoulder, whispering into her ear. Crystal felt the disappointment rise up at the fact that the one normal conversation they had the chance to have was being interrupted, but she quickly swallowed that feeling back down. Gigi nodded at Nicky and stood up, following the bride to the front of the room. 

Nicky tapped a fork against a wine glass to grab the attention of the guests, and the room quickly died down from a lively chatter to a quiet hush. Crystal looked up and noticed Gigi standing next to Nicky, her stance coming across as confident, but Crystal could tell her ex-girlfriend was nervous by the way her fingers fiddled with the sash of her dress. 

“Thank you everyone for being here tonight,” Nicky spoke out, a genuine smile on her face, “Today has honestly been one of the best days of my life, and I’m so glad that I now get to wake up everyday with the love of my life and get to call her my wife.”

The crowd clapped and awed, and Crystal noticed Jaida at her seat, hiding her face in her hands as she blushed heavily. 

Nicky waited until the noise died down and spoke out again, “Anyway, I’m sure you’ve heard enough from me for now. I want to pass you over to my baby cousin and maid of honour for her speech.”

Once again the crowd clapped, and Gigi took a step forward anxiously. She took out some notes and cleared her throat, her eyes darting across the paper. 

“When we were little girls, Nicky used to always daydream about her future wedding, “Gigi began, Crystal noticing her voice shake a little, “She used to make me pretend to be the priest as she would marry one of her many teddy bears. She would make me hum the music as she walked across the room, holding a tissue on her head pretending it was a veil.” 

People in the room began to laugh and Crystal could see Nicky shake her head with a fond smile on her face. 

“I knew one day my dearest cousin would get married for real, and I’m so glad that I get to stand by her side as I watch her marry the love of her life.”

Gigi paused and took a deep breath, “It is so obvious to me the love that Nicky and Jaida hold for each other, and I’m sure it’s obvious to everyone else in this room. I have never seen two people who are so obviously perfect for each other. They showed me that love is...love is...” 

The dark-haired girl stopped suddenly and looked up, making direct eye contact with Crystal. The world felt like it stopped for a minute, Crystal feeling her heart thump and her throat dry up. She noticed Gigi’s bottom lip quiver before she took a deep breath and continued. 

“Love is hard,” She finally spoke, putting her notes to the side, “It’s difficult and it’s tough, and sometimes it can just suck. It feels like your heart is being ripped apart and you wonder why do you even bother? Is it worth all the hard work and pain? It’s scary to open yourself up wholly to someone because with that you give them the power to crush and break you. What is the point? Why would you allow someone to do that to you?”

A lump formed in Crystal’s throat as Gigi refused to break eye contact with her. 

“But the thing with real love is that you don’t care. Because despite how much hard work it is, it will always be worth it. Real love makes it feel easy. You want to stay with them no matter what, you want your breath to be linked with theirs. Even when you know you should walk away, you don’t...you can’t....because as easy it would be to walk away, you know deep down that it’s worth the hard work...because as hard as it, all the terrible times don’t matter...as long as you can still have just one more minute of being together…”

Crystal quickly wiped her eyes, trying to will away the tears that formed in her eyes. It was obvious Gigi was talking directly to Crystal, even if the rest of the room hadn’t realised it yet. 

“Love is hard, but real love is when you make it look easy. Real love is worth the hard work and if you run away from it…” Gigi’s voice faltered slightly, “If you run away from it...you will regret it...for as long as you live.”

Before Crystal could process the words properly, Gigi quickly averted her gaze, looking over towards Nicky and Jaida, plastering a wide smile on her face. She coughed awkwardly and carried on.

“W-what I’m trying to say is that...Nicky and Jaida didn’t run away...they stuck together and made it through, no matter how tough or difficult the situation. That’s what real love is....and I am so proud of them.” Gigi smiled and raised a glass, “To Nicky and Jaida!”

The rest of the room cheered and raised their glasses, Crystal joining in half-heartedly. The blonde felt her heart drop to her stomach as she watched Gigi’s face drop when everyone’s attention had been taken away from her, biting her lip nervously. 

Gigi came back to her seat, as Jaida’s parents prepared to say their speech. There was no denying the awkward tension between the two exes, as Gigi desperately avoided eye contact with Crystal no matter what.

The blonde felt her fingers twitch by her side, clenching them once again. The longing to hold Gigi’s hand once again taking over her whole body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey i didnt die lmao....im sorry i havent updated in a while ive been really busy with university and moving and lots of stuff, not to mention a lack of motivation but omg!!! a new chapter yehaw!!!!
> 
> im sorry this is probably so bad i cannot stomach the idea of reading this again


	7. Wine Glasses and Slow Dancing

The reception had only been going on for about an hour, but Crystal already felt the overwhelming urge to leave and head to her room. 

The blonde had been to a wedding reception before, however none of them had been like this. The weddings she had attended had bright dancefloors and middle-aged DJs who played cheesy songs from past decades in some sort of random jukebox way. Nicky and Jaida skipped all of that and instead were throwing the reception in the ballroom of the hotel, a jazz ensemble in the corner of the room, filling the room with smooth melodies from the saxophone. It was a bit too fancy for Crystal to truly feel comfortable. 

She had tried dancing with the few people she actually recognised and knew at the wedding, however she had quickly grown bored with that. Instead she was sitting at a table by herself, nursing the same glass of wine in her hand and keeping an eye on Gigi whenever she could. 

Crystal had silently been keeping score of every person that danced with Gigi, biting her bottom lip as she fiddled with the hem of her blazer. Gigi had danced with four people so far; Nicky, Jaida, another cousin of hers who Crystal was sure was called Rosy, and her mother. However, Gigi’s newest dance partner was someone who she  _ definitely  _ did not recognise and was almost 100% sure was  _ not  _ another relative. 

Gigi and the stranger weren’t even touching, simply swaying along and giggling to the upbeat tempo that the jazz ensemble were currently playing. However, it was still enough to cause Crystal’s heart to throb, a mixture of longing and jealousy running through her veins. 

_ Come on Crystal, you don’t get to feel this way. You are broken up, she is allowed to dance with whoever she wants to. It’s none of your business.  _

Sneaking another glimpse towards the two, Crystal saw Gigi laugh loudly, her eyes scrunching tight and her hands pressed against her cheeks. It was at that moment that Crystal remembered that she loved Gigi fiercely and would never stop. 

Downing the rest of her wine, Crystal stood up, deciding to stop sitting around and feeling sorry for herself. She felt herself sway slightly, the alcohol already affecting her, however that didn’t stop her from going to grab another glass, downing that one just as quickly as the first one and then grabbing another one. 

With the alcohol coursing through her veins giving her a new sense of confidence, she walked over towards Gigi and the stranger, stumbling slightly on her feet. Gigi turned and caught Crystal’s eyes on accident, a mixture of surprise and confusion overtaking her face. 

“Crystal?” She asked, “Are you okay?”

The blonde gave her a big fake smile and nodded, swirling the wine glass in her hand, “Me? I’m perfect!” She spun around and faced the stranger. The woman smiled at her and Crystal noticed she was wearing the same dress as Gigi meaning she was one of the other bridesmaids that Crystal had paid no attention to earlier. The stranger had dark hair that had been dip-dyed blonde and was held in a french braid. Despite how vigorously she had been dancing five minutes ago, her hair remained perfect, not a strand out of place. Crystal’s stomach turned and she wasn’t sure if it was because of the alcohol or the feeling of inadequacy due to standing next to such a beautiful woman. 

Crystal gulped and forced the smile to stay on her face, “So  _ Geege,”  _ she said, putting emphasis on the old nickname, “Who is this then?”

Gigi blinked and sighed, “Crystal this is Symone, an old friend of mine,” She then turned to Symone and pointed towards Crystal, “Symone this is Crystal, my  _ ex _ -girlfriend.” The way that Gigi punctuated the  _ ‘ex’  _ caused a knot to form in the blonde’s stomach. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Symone smiled, “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Crystal chewed her bottom lip, unsure whether to take Symone’s statement as a good thing or not. Despite her anxiety, she held out her hand to Symone and shook it, the fake grin never leaving her face.

“It’s nice to meet you too, though I do have to say I have heard  _ nothing  _ about you.”

“ _ Crystal,”  _ Gigi hissed, but Symone simply laughed.

“I’m not surprised to be honest,” Symone replied, “Gigi has never really been the best at talking, especially about herself.”

Crystal put on a fake laugh, taking another swig of her wine glass, “I don’t know, Geege was always really good talking to  _ me.” _

“Jesus Christ, Crystal,  _ stop,”  _ Gigi said, trying to put herself in between the two girls but Crystal was having none of it, grabbing onto Symone’s hands. 

“You know what?” The blonde asked, ignoring Gigi’s protests, “Why don’t we get to know each other better? Let’s go to the bar, I’ll get you a drink!”

“I already told you this is a free bar-”

“ _ Come on Symone _ , let’s go!” The blonde pulled Symone, trying her best to make her way to the bar. 

Despite the wary look on Gigi’s face, Symone obliged with a smile, allowing Crystal to drag her along, “Sure, that sounds nice,” She turned to Gigi and winked at her to reassure her, “I’ll be right back don’t worry.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Crystal muttered, ignoring everyone, trying to pull Symone away to put as much distance between her and Gigi as possible. 

With no resistance, Symone followed the blonde. They stopped and Crystal leant against the bar, signaling for the bartender. She ordered herself another glass of wine before turning to Symone, “What would you like?”

“Just a pinot grigio for me please,” she answered. 

With a nod, Crystal ordered the drink and they sat in silence until the bartender brought them their orders. Whilst Symone took a tentative sip of her glass, Crystal chugged hers down like it was water, ignoring the concerned stare that the action garnered. She was at a level of drunk where she could barely taste the alcohol anymore, simply drinking so she had something to do. 

“So, how are you-” Symone began but was quickly interrupted by Crystal swirling towards her with a serious expression.

“I have a request for you.”

“Okay?” She replied, confused, “What is it?”

Crystal tapped her fingers against the top of the bar nervously and mumbled under her breath, “Please...don’t....”

Symone raised an eyebrow, “Sorry, I didn’t catch that...What did you say?”

The blonde took a deep breath, “ _ Please... _ Don’t sleep with Gigi.”

There was an awkward pause between the two, Symone staring at Crystal in confusion, her mouth hanging open, “Uhh...What?”

Tears began to pool in Crystal’s eyes and she grabbed the other woman’s hands desperately. She hiccuped and looked at her pleadingly, “I just...I know Gigi can do what she wants and it’s none of my business anymore just please... _ please... _ don’t sleep with her...I love her so much and it hurts so bad so please...I’m begging you…”

Symone squeezed her hands comfortingly before laughing softly, “Crystal...I’m not going to  _ sleep  _ with Gigi.”

“You...don’t want to sleep with her?” Crystal furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. 

“Of course not!” She laughed, “Gigi’s just a friend to me...I don’t like her in that way.”

“How?” The blonde burst out, not realising how loud her voice had become, “Have you seen her? She’s so beautiful and amazing and talented and...and…”

“You’re right,” Symone soothed, trying to quiet Crystal down, “But she’s like a sister to me...Not to mention I already have a girlfriend.”

Seeming satisfied with the answer, Crystal settled down and leant back down on the bar, mumbling under her breath. She didn’t notice Symone turn her gaze over to Gigi on the dancefloor, waving her over with her hand. 

“I’m glad you don’t wanna sleep with her, you know?” Crystal continued, slurring her words slightly, “I mean you can do whatever you want, I can’t control shit but I’m so glad...I love her...I love her so much it hurts and I think it would kill me...I just want...I want…”

“I think you’ve had too much.” A quiet but stern voice said from behind Crystal. She swivelled around and saw Gigi looking down at her, an unreadable expression on her face. 

Crystal stared at her in silence as Gigi turned towards Symone, “Don’t worry about this...I’ll handle it now.”

The other woman simply nodded and slipped away, making her way back towards the dancefloor. Gigi sighed and grabbed Crystal’s arm, pulling her away, “Come on...let’s get you back to your room.”

“No,” Crystal huffed, “I wanna stay here.”

“Crystal, you are crying at the bar at someone else's wedding, let me take you back before you embarrass yourself.”

“Fine,” The blonde relented, stumbling on her feet as she stood up. Gigi caught her quickly with a grimace, letting Crystal wrap her arms around her waist as she used her for balance. 

Sniffling, the blonde rested her head against Gigi, the material of her dress rubbing against her cheek, “I’m getting tears and snot all over your dress…”

“It doesn’t matter,” Gigi mumbled, trying to pull Crystal out of the room.

“It’s such a pretty dress too,” Crystal sniffed, ignoring Gigi completely, “You look  _ so  _ good in it…”

“ _ Crystal _ ,” Gigi warned her, but Crystal took no notice. 

“Kiss me.” The blonde burst out as she snuggled against Gigi’s waist. 

The dark-haired girl stopped dead in her tracks and took a deep breath, a war of emotions on her face, “No.”

Feeling the tears building up once again, Crystal let go of Gigi and turned towards her, hurt and confusion overtaking her expression, “Why not?”

“You’re drunk.”

“I don’t care!”

“Well I do!” Gigi snapped, her fists clenching, “Crystal you fucking reek of booze, I am not kissing you!”

Tears began falling down the blonde’s face as she took a step closer towards her ex-girlfriend, “Geege...I know I fucked up but I...I can make it better I promise!”

“So this is how you plan to make things better?” Gigi hissed, “By getting drunk and just confusing me?”

“I didn’t mean to get drunk…” Crystal mumbled, looking down at her feet. 

“Whether you meant it or not doesn’t matter,” Gigi replied, “Either way, you are way too drunk to be having this conversation right now, so  _ let me take you to bed.” _

Crystal didn’t move, “I love you”

“ _ Don’t _ -”

“No! I’m going to say it because it’s true! I love you! I love you so much!” She took another step closer, “I  _ love  _ you, and I know you love me too...otherwise you wouldn’t have kissed me...or let me sleep in your room...or said what you said during the speech-”

“I don’t want to talk about the speech right now, okay?!” Gigi interrupted, a hint of desperation in her voice, “ Can you please just come with me to bed?”

“No!” The blonde protested, raising her voice, “I’m fed up of this! I’m fed up of saying we are going to talk and never doing it! We’ve almost spent a whole year not talking and look at what it led to?! Fucking hell, all our problems began because we  _ never fucking talked!” _

“ _ Crys...please…” _

“Why did you stop designing?” Crystal blurted out, standing defiantly. 

“I told you,” Gigi mumbled, her hands shaking nervously, “I got into modelling and I just didn’t have the time and-”

“You and I both know that isn’t true,” She stared at Gigi deeply, “I overheard you and Nicky this morning, so tell me the truth.”

The dark-haired girl trembled, looking like a child who had been caught snooping in the cookie jar. She rubbed her eyes quickly and looked away, “I....I stopped because it reminded me of you...When I left I realised that you were my inspiration...every time I looked at that sewing machine it just reminded me of all the times I spent with you....when you would keep me company and fetch me water and whatever I needed when I was working too hard...It hurt too badly to keep doing it....so I stopped.”

“I…” Crystal began but was unsure on how to carry on. It didn’t seem to matter however as Gigi wasn’t finished, tears flowing down her face like a waterfall and fists clenched in anger. 

“How in the hell was I meant to keep going?! How was I meant to keep sewing when everytime I did it was just a cruel reminder of  _ you?!  _ I loved you so much and for some reason I still do?! Is that what you wanted? Me to tell you I never stopped loving you? Because congratulations! You got what you want! I love you Crystal, I still fucking love you and I’m such a fucking idiot for it. I have every right in the world to hate you but I don’t! I  _ should _ hate you but I don’t...you cheated on me and yet I still love you...I guess that just makes me the world’s biggest idiot, huh?”

Crystal stumbled closer to Gigi, reaching out a hand to put on her shoulder comfortingly. She was about to reply, to tell her that she wasn’t an idiot and how everything was actually  _ her fault _ , but before she could even mutter out a single word she was interrupted by a furious voice. 

“Excuse me,  _ what?!” _

The two exes quickly swung around to look behind them where they saw Nicky standing in her wedding dress, a furious expression on her face. In her hand she held a champagne glass, but she was gripping it so tightly, Crystal was surprised it hadn’t smashed in her hand. 

  
Nicky took a step closer, the anger radiating off her body, “Crystal...would you like to explain what the  _ fuck  _ you did to my baby cousin?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wow two updates in one week i really am trying to make up for lost time lmao ftcyvguh i have no idea if yall will like this but!!!! yea yea!!! thank u for all the support btw, it genuinally really makes me day and is the reason i wanna keep writing!!!
> 
> btw i made a curious cat if anyone wants to yell at me or ask me questions about the fic or any future fics or anything! i rlly want to reply to comments on here but its quite difficult to log into this account on my phone so i cant normally reply! so pls come yell at me!!!
> 
> https://curiouscat.qa/maneatergoode


	8. Elevators and Bathrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw// mentions of vomit but its not graphic

“Nicky now isn’t the right time please-”

“No Gigi,” Nicky hissed, pointing a finger at Crystal, “I want her to tell me what the fuck she did to you.”

Crystal felt her stomach tie up in knots, anxiety and fear filling her entire body. The ballroom spun around her due to a mixture of the alcohol and her nerves. She tried to speak but everytime she opened her mouth no noise came out. 

Nicky clenched a fist by her side, “Oh, so you can’t speak now? Well, guess what? I  _ can.  _ I came over to see if you guys were okay and you can imagine my surprise when I overheard some pretty messed up shit. So you better fucking hope that whatever I heard was incorrect because if it  _ is  _ true then you both have some serious explaining to do.”

“Listen, can we  _ please  _ talk about this later,” Gigi pleaded, “You can see that Crystal isn’t in the right frame of mind for this right now-”

Nicky whipped to the side to glare at Gigi, a mixture of anger and hurt on her face, “Fine, she might not be able to talk right now, but you sure are  _ Genevieve _ .”

The dark-haired girl winced at the way Nicky spat out her full name, but Nicky paid no attention, “So would you like to tell me the  _ real  _ reason you two broke up?”

“I-I told you,” Gigi stuttered, “It was a stupid arguement and I left…It was nothing...”

“ _ Bullshit!”  _ Nicky burst out, “That’s bullshit and we both know it!”

“I don’t want to talk about this right now, can we please-”

“Can we what, Gigi?! Forget it?! Keep lying to the one person you said you would never lie to?! I thought we trusted each other with everything? Yet you can’t even tell me this?! What happened to no secrets between us? Was that a lie too?!”

“ _ Of course not _ ,” Gigi stepped towards Nicky, her hands held out in a pleading motion, “I just...I just…”

“You just what?  _ Forgot  _ to tell me? It slipped your mind? You’re saying all these bullshit yet you still won’t even tell me the reason you broke up! Do you not think I deserve to know? The person who gave you a place to stay, the person who let you cry on her shoulder, the person who would fucking listen to you cry and sob about how you still loved her, despite it being a  _ year since you broke up?!” _

Over the years of knowing the two, Crystal had never seen Nicky so angry at Gigi. It caused unease to rise in her stomach. She couldn’t handle the animosity anymore and the way she could see tears rise in her ex-girlfriend’s eyes. 

Gigi opened her mouth to speak again but was quickly interrupted by Crystal speaking up quietly, “Don’t blame her Nicky...please...it was me...I was the reason for the breakup...I cheated on her…”

The two cousins turned to face Crystal, both stunned into a silence. The blonde could barely pay attention, the world still spinning around her. She tried to focus her attention on Gigi and held onto her arm for balance.

The anger seemed to dissipate out of Nicky’s body, instead being replaced with hurt and betrayal. She turned to face Gigi again, her voice low and quiet, “Why...why didn’t you tell me?”

Gigi’s bottom lip trembled as tears threatened to fall down her face, “I...I just couldn’t...I’m  _ sorry  _ Nicky...I couldn’t bear the idea of telling anyone…”

“Not even me?” Nicky whispered, moving to place her champagne glass on the nearest table. 

Gigi shook her head, moving her hand slowly to grab onto one of Crystal’s, squeezing it softly. When they were together Gigi would always try to hold onto Crystal’s hand when she was feeling anxious or upset. It was like she found comfort in just the fact that Crystal was next to her. 

Crystal squeezed her hand back. 

Nicky sighed, her gaze glancing down quickly at their intertwined hands. A look of confusion flashed across her face but it was quickly replaced with realisation. 

“You didn’t tell me because you still love her.” Nicky spoke out softly. She stated it as a fact rather than a question, the knowing look on her face saying everything. 

There was a pause before Gigi nodded, biting her bottom lip anxiously, “I didn’t want you to hate her…”

“Did you not consider the fact that if I found out later it might make things worse?”

“I did think about that,” Gigi mumbled, “I was just hoping it would never come down to that…”

The french girl sighed again, holding her hand up to her forehead, “Well it has come down to that…”

“...I know.”

“And I am so angry now you have no idea.” Nicky continued. 

Gigi winced, “I know…”

An awkward silence overcame the trio, no one sure what to say to continue the conversation. The tension felt thick in the air and Crystal felt like she was suffocating. Nicky paced around for a couple of minutes. It was obvious she wanted to let out her anger, the anger at Gigi for keeping secrets from her and the anger at Crystal for hurting her cousin. However, she was obviously conflicted, not wanting to make her dear cousin cry and cause a scene at her own wedding. 

“ _ Fuck,”  _ Nicky finally said in frustration, running a hand through her hair, “Just take her up Gigi...This isn’t the right time to do this...but  _ don’t  _ think this is over! We are talking tomorrow before your flight? Okay?”

Gigi nodded, breathing a sigh of relief, “Thank you Nicky…”

“Don’t thank me,” Nicky scoffed, “Just get out of here before I change my mind.”

She nodded again and quickly wrapped her arm around Crystal’s waist for support, leading her out of the ballroom. Nicky sighed and made her way back towards the dancefloor where Jaida was currently dancing with her parents.

Crystal and Gigi walked towards the elevator, the blonde stumbling along the way. They eventually made it inside in silence, Gigi quickly punching in the number for their floor. Crystal stared at her face, too dizzy to focus on any one feature. It didn’t matter to the blonde. Even if she couldn’t focus on her ex-girlfriend’s face she knew she was beautiful. 

“You’re staring,” Gigi said matter of factly, refusing to look directly at Crystal. 

“You’re beautiful,” Crystal hiccuped, not averting her gaze in any way. 

Gigi didn’t answer, choosing to instead stay silent. Uncomfortable with the silence Crystal spoke out again, “Do...do you think Nicky hates me now?”

“I don’t know,” The dark-haired girl replied honestly, “She’s angry but I don’t think she could be mad at you forever...I mean hell, I’m the one you cheated on and even I don’t hate you.”

Crystal held onto Gigi tighter, “You said you love me…”

The dark-haired girl gulped, “I did…”

“I love you to-”

“P-please don’t say it,” Gigi whispered, however she didn’t pull away from Crystal, “If you still feel the same way tomorrow then that’s okay, but I don’t think I could handle you saying it whilst you are drunk...I need you to mean it…”

“ _ Geege please,”  _ The blonde slurred, trying her best not to cry, “I have never meant anything more in my life.”

“You wouldn’t be saying this if you were sober.”

“Yes I would!” Crystal insisted, tears rolling down her cheeks, “You have to believe me! I know I fucked up but I love you so much and I...I…”

Gigi quickly pulled Crystal into a hug, petting her hair in an attempt to soothe her, “Please don’t cry...I’m not saying I don’t believe you...I just...I need you to say this to me when you’re sober...you don’t need to cry...we are going to fix this…”

Crystal buried her face into Gigi’s chest as she began to sob heavily, clinging to her ex-girlfriend almost like she was too scared to let go. Gigi rubbed her back as the blonde felt her stomach churn, groaning suddenly when the elevator stopped quickly, suddenly feeling quite ill. 

“I think...I think I need the bathroom,” Crystal hiccuped, her stomach rolling about. 

“Oh fuck,” Gigi grumbled and pulled Crystal along quickly out of the elevator, one hand rummaging for her room key and one holding onto the blonde tightly. She stopped in front of the door, unlocking it and rushing Crystal towards her bathroom. 

She placed Crystal carefully by the toilet and lifted the seat up just in time for the blonde to heave and suddenly throw up into the toilet. Gigi rubbed her back as she clung onto the toilet, her body shaking. 

“I-I’m so s-sorry…” Crystal whimpered, letting her forehead rest against the cool rim of the toilet.

“Shhhh,” Gigi whispered, “It’s okay.”

Crystal continued to cry as she threw up once again.

“Jesus how much did you drink?” Gigi asked with a concerned expression on her face.

Crystal whimpered, “I don’t know only…”

_ …”Only one bottle.” Gigi stammered, leaning on the toilet bowl, groaning.  _

_ Crystal rubbed her back and sighed. They both knew she was lying however neither of them were brave enough to say anything. Crystal knew from the countless empty bottles hidden around the apartment that there was no way Gigi had only had one bottle of wine.  _

_ Sometimes it was easier to just pretend.  _

_ “Do you think you are going to throw up anymore?” She asked. _

_ Gigi shook her head and Crystal felt relief build up in her body. It was too late to be dealing with all of this. She had work in the morning and she was exhausted, however she knew she couldn’t leave her girlfriend alone, no matter how much her body was begging for her to collapse into bed.  _

_ “Do you want a glass of water?” _

_ Gigi shook her head again.  _

_ “Do you want to go to bed?” _

_ Gigi nodded, and Crystal helped lift her girlfriend off the ground, taking her to their bedroom. She tucked her into the bed, making sure that she was laying on her side, before giving her a hesitant kiss on her cheek. She laid down next to her girlfriend and stroked her hair until she could hear Gigi’s soft snores fill the room. _

_ After Gigi had fallen asleep, Crystal stayed awake for another few hours. She couldn’t sleep due to the fear that Gigi might turn onto her back and choke on her own vomit in her sleep. She spent most of her nights worrying about Gigi these days. She was anxiously waiting for the day she wouldn’t be there to take care of her and she would come home to Gigi facedown on the ground, laying in a puddle of her own vomit and barely breathing. The idea of one day having to call 911 for her girlfriend and watch paramedics take her away was terrifying and haunted her dreams.  _

_ She hated Gigi for making her feel this way. She loved Gigi, but most of all she hated herself.  _

“Can you stand up?” Gigi asked slowly and softly. Crystal looked up into her concerned eyes and felt herself relax. This was the Gigi that she fell in love with, not the Gigi that she was so scared of losing. 

Crystal nodded, blinking quickly. Gigi held out a hand to Crystal and she took it, standing up slowly, only stumbling once. Gigi giggled and helped carry Crystal out of the bathroom.

“Come on,” She sighed, “Let’s get you to bed.”

“Are we going to fuck?” Crystal slurred. 

Gigi snorted, “No, we are going to sleep.You are way too drunk right now.”

The blonde pouted, “That’s boring…”

The dark-haired girl ignored her and helped her get into her bed, making sure she was laying down on her side and tucking the blanket over her. She stroked her hair before standing up and changing out of her gown into something more comfortable. 

“Geege?”

“Yeah?”

“Please don’t leave me,” Crystal whimpered, “I know I deserve it but I don’t want to be alone…”

Gigi took her hair out of her bun and walked towards the bed, sitting down next to Crystal, “I won’t,” she assured her.

The blonde wiped her eyes and hiccuped, “I couldn’t...I couldn’t handle you leaving me again...please…”

“I’m not going anywhere.Now go to sleep,” Gigi grabbed onto her hand, squeezing it softly, “When you wake up in the morning I will still be here.”

Crystal yawned and felt her eyelids grow heavier. She pulled Gigi closer to her and closed her eyes, her ex-girlfriend’s familiar smell bringing her comfort. Gigi didn’t pull away, hugging her close and stroking her hair. 

“Do you think...you’ll want to take me back?” Crystal mumbled. But she fell asleep before she could hear Gigi’s firm but soft reply. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didnt proof read this bcs im tired and also this was meant to be longer but i decided to split this chapter into 2 ur welcome
> 
> sorry for this shit lmao
> 
> thank u everyone for reading and for all ur support it rlly makes my whole day when i see u guys comments!! : DDDD


	9. update

To everyone who read this fic, commented, or gave support in anyway.

First off I'd like to say thank you, thank you for the support I've had on this fic and every other fic I've written on this account. It means so much to me and brought back the joy I had thought I had lost for writing. 

Unfortunately this isn't a new chapter, in fact this is an update for this fic and this account as a whole. I have decided that I will not be finishing this fic, or be writing any new crygi fics anymore. 

There are multiple reasons for this. The most obvious reason is that I don't really have much interest anymore. It's not that I don't like drag or crygi anymore, nothing like that, it's just I have new interests now that take up more of my time. 

However, that isn't the main reason. The main reason I am not updating this account anymore is because I no longer find joy in it. I have thought about writing new chapters constantly but I never did it?? Why?? It's cause it doesn't make me happy anymore, in fact it does the opposite. I don't want to write something because I feel like I have to, out of some sort of obligation. It's not fun anymore. 

To be honest, looking at this account just makes me sad. I don't feel the joy I used to feel, I just feel emptiness and sadness. It's like a bitter reminder of what I used to have and used to be. Whenever I look at this account I feel upset, the memories that surround it once felt warm, but now they just make me numb. I miss the reason why I wrote. For my friends. But now I feel like I don't have them anymore so what is the point. Hopefully these fics will be forgotten just like I have been 

As everyone has been so supportive of me I thought you at least deserved an explanation, a reason for why I will no longer be updating. As sad as it all is, I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your support and loves.

Thank you for the wonderful memories.

xxx

**Author's Note:**

> remember how i said i wouldnt start another multichapter fic for a while??? yea im full of shit. i should be working on my other oneshot but instead i started this! however i am rlly excited to write this and see everyones reactions!!!!
> 
> i hope u all enjoy! pls comment if u wanna see more!


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